when exposure doesnt work

I sadly feel the same way! And I don't know why that is. I'm trying to tell myself that I feel anxious and that it's 'ok' to feel what I feel etc... Trying not to engage with my emotions but I must be doing something wrong.. I do not have a solution as I am struggling to find one myself.

I think one of the things to do is to stay in the situation long enough, until the anxiety level drops a little.. which doesn't feel ideal and feel painful, but probably for me it's the thing I'm doing the least.

I feel ya. It helps to expose to situations that put you out of your comfort zone a little without huge leaps or combining too many stressors. Also, it helps to choose environments where people are supportive and positive. Choose situations that make you happy in some other way. Don't torture yourself with situations that just make your miserable overall. The goal is to overcome your anxiety, not torture yourself. If something isn't something you actually want to do & there's no larger goal you don't have to do it. Work towards who you want to be not who others want you to be.

If you do exposure but you still feel anxious: a) you are not doing it long enough b) you have been doing it long enough but you still use safety behaviours, you are holding back in some way and thus reinforcing anxiety. (based on Clark and Wells model of social anxiety)