Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

the feel like i don't belong anywhere

0985 April 10th, 2017

i started having the feeling that i don't rly have friends again.

at classes i usually hang with one group of ppl but they have a more closed group that i don't participate.

i don't rly like anymore to hang with the other ppl i used to hang around, reason one is my ex-gf is on that group

i don't usually eat lunch alone, but i'm not feeling so comfortable anymore to sit with other ppl other than my usual two or three friends. and tbh i'm not even that comfortable with one of them (my ex-gf bff).

at work i don't rly talk to ppl much, cause i don't like to speak loud and i basically only talk to the guy that sits next to me.

i have two long term good friends, but we live far away and sometimes i want to do something other than just chat online.

i just feel isolated i guess, and that i don't belong to any of those groups

4
BriteDay78 April 10th, 2017

@0985

It really hurts to feel alone and it sounds like your friendships were connected to your ex-gf, which is understandable why you would distance yourself from some of the mutual friends that you shared. I'm really glad that you shared here and that you do have long-term friendships. What do you think about planning to see one or both of those long distance friends this summer or over winter break? Is there anyone that you would consider a current "acquaintance" that you could invite to see a movie or go to lunch and get to know better? With social anxiety, I already know why that is uncomfortable and hard, but it you don't over tax yourself and start planning it - maybe the anxiety won't be so bad. Sometimes I do better with spur of the moment and others, it's best if I plan ahead.You aren't alone and we're here to support you, friend!

1 reply
0985 OP April 10th, 2017

@BriteDay78 hi! thanks for the answer :)

i'm actually going out with one of the long term friends next weekend

i think what i miss most is having someone to actually hang around specially during classes and at lunch so i could feel less left out...

load more
Xhroria April 11th, 2017

@0985

Try not being so hard on yourself for being a bit reclusive at this point of life. It's okay to sometimes feel lonely or not belonging anywhere. The question isn't, in my perspective, about how things present themselves to you, but how you percieve it. Your perception of life counts more on how you will interact with these factors and how you'll feel at the end.

So you now feel isolated from social groups, and this phenomena presents itself to you as true, but the important thing is how you'll react to this matter. One way to change your perspective and feelings upon this is to try firstly to acquire self knowledge and secondly to try to see the bigger picture of your circumstance. For instance, you have some long-term friends that although they don't live near you, they still are significant in your life.

I would suggest that you learn ways to engage more with these long-term friends, showing them gratitude for their existences and their importance in your life. I would also suggest you to learn ways to love yourself more. To do so, self knowledge is required as well. And most important: to accept your "weak points" and love yourself entirely, as a whole. I say this because we all have some undesired features that we try to hide from ourselves -- this is normally done unconsciously -- but if we learn to identify these things, we can then learn to accept them as they are, and they themselves will gradually transform into constructive things in our lives.

Sorry for the long text. But if you read this, I hope it makes sense and can apply itself in your life.

1 reply
0985 OP April 12th, 2017

@Xhroria hi

i guess it makes sense, i'm doing therapy to learn how to take better care of myself :)

this week has been hard, i'm more stressed than usual and sometimes i feel bad for wanting to exclude myself :/

but yea, i'm moving on.. trying to spend time with ppl that make me happy and get away from toxic ppl

thanks for your comment :)

load more