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0985
4,841 M Seeking Light 7
PathStep 22 Compassion hearts215 Forum posts47 Forum upvotes39 Current upvotes39 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceOctober 26, 2015
Recent forum posts
Sometimes i wonder how you are doing
Relationship Stress / by 0985
Last post
 October 20th, 2018
...See more Sometimes i want to text you and check on you, see if you are okay, how the things that are happening are affecting you, i want to tell you my accomplishments and my fears, but i know it wouldn't do good. Sometimes i miss having you here for when i get home and can tell you about my day while we cuddle, but then i remember the bad parts of living together too and think it would only hurt us again. sometimes i wish we were still friends, but we are not ready for that
can't contact previous chats
Newbie Hub / by 0985
Last post
 August 26th, 2017
...See more Hi! i noticed i can't contact listeners i was talking to if they were the ones to message me first. I was talking with this guy another day and i wanted to update him about the advice he gave me, but he wasnt appearing on my chat anymore. same happened with a listener that contact me via the "health living buddy" forum
what's an effective way to help a friend with depression?
Depression Support / by 0985
Last post
 August 28th, 2017
...See more Hello, i have this friend that i care about a lot. She just quitted college today. She is doing therapy and i think she has a psychiatrist appointment scheduled. She was barely eating, and sleeping too little or too much. She told me her mom is making her eat now. She doesn't leave the house. We had a conversation this week that made me very sad and worried. She asked me to not disappear from her life and to not let her disappear from mine too. i text her once in a while some cute or funny stuff, she doesn't answer, but she said she likes getting my texts, because that reminds her we are still friends. I've been asking her to go out together since the beggining of the month now, but i try to not put pressure by saying "if you feel like it, i'm free on X and Y, we could go to that place, let me know". I don't ask much tho, because i think it can bother her if i ask too much. I talked to another friend of ours that is close to her to do a 'kidnapping' on saturday and take her to a park to do a pic-nic. we dated not long ago, but broke up in good terms and we are still very close. we set some boundries, stayed a while without seeing and barely talking to each other, but now we are okay, we miss each other, me, a lot, she says she does too, but one of the reason we broke up was to take care of ourselves, and we reckon it is not wise to date again. I'm moving on, slowly, but i am. I'm on therapy to work these things out, i had several anxiety crisis the past year but i am okay now, more functional and not freaking out. She also stayed friends till this day with a few of her exes, so this situation with me is normal to her. I'm lost and don't know what else i can do. I want to stop by her place, to go give her a hug, to take her out somewhere, but i feel that is too much, and, because of the break-up, i'm insecure about what her parents think about me, so i don't want to go to her house. She helped me a lot during my anxiety treatment and i want to be able to help her too.
Can't sleep vent
Anxiety Support / by 0985
Last post
 June 9th, 2017
...See more Idk if it is because I'm out of my meds, but I'm having trouble falling asleep. I can't even remember the last time this happened... I went to the movies with my ex gf yesterday, we are in good terms and stuff, we both agreed it was not a date. It was a fun afternoon, the movie was great and I had a good time. But as I lay down to sleep I start thinking about everything that happened, how I started to feel insecure around her and how I kind of still do. And I just start crying insteady of sleeping. And it is a cry that hurts. Hurts to remember everything I wanted to say to her, how I was feeling about her. I still care about her, we can't avoid seeing each other every week and I do like talking to her. But sometimes I start thinking I can't get involved, I'll only get hurt if I do so. I also got fired, but at least it was not my fault, and it is weird to stay home pretty much all day. I live alone and it gets very lonely. I made plans with some friends for next week but I am getting anxious thinking about it. In a way I feel they are not rly my friends and I'll be uncomfortable around them. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed about paying my bills and making a good financial plan, and I have to do it specially now that in unemployed. I guess this is just a "can't sleep" vent.
the feel like i don't belong anywhere
Anxiety Support / by 0985
Last post
 April 12th, 2017
...See more i started having the feeling that i don't rly have friends again. at classes i usually hang with one group of ppl but they have a more closed group that i don't participate. i don't rly like anymore to hang with the other ppl i used to hang around, reason one is my ex-gf is on that group i don't usually eat lunch alone, but i'm not feeling so comfortable anymore to sit with other ppl other than my usual two or three friends. and tbh i'm not even that comfortable with one of them (my ex-gf bff). at work i don't rly talk to ppl much, cause i don't like to speak loud and i basically only talk to the guy that sits next to me. i have two long term good friends, but we live far away and sometimes i want to do something other than just chat online. i just feel isolated i guess, and that i don't belong to any of those groups
hi, not sure this is the correct section to post this
Relationship Stress / by 0985
Last post
 May 1st, 2017
...See more hi. this is a vent. me and my (ex)gf broke up recently. ive been dealing with this feeling of guilty since she came back from canada, like it was my fault things didnt work out. she actually said it was my fault once. and ive been just feeling bad, believing i always screw things up. but the reality is that it is not my fault entirely. i may have twisted reality a bit with my paranoid anxious mind, but to be really honest, it is her fault too. she told me to not be afraid of getting close to her again, and there i was being all friendly hoping to get back those happy times together, and here i was hoping. just hoping and just feeling it was my fault and that i could make up to her. we talked again and i asked her for a real no or a real yes, no maybes anymore. and here i was feeling guilty that i fucked up with her mental health, that i was a terrible person. but to be honest, she fucked with my mind too. she said that when she was away in canada, she felt better not having to deal with my instabilities, during that time i didnt tell her much about what was going wrong with me because there was almost no wrong things going on. ugh. i hate to remember her in a not happy way, because we had incredibubble happy moments together, a lot of internal jokes and a lot of things ill miss doing. i want her to come stalk my tumblr and read this text. want to say this all to her face but i just think it would be mean. sometimes i just remember her angry face and the way she would get when she was mad at something, and how sometimes i felt stupid and not capable of do things properly around her, how she talked like she was always right. i just liked her so much that i refused to see those things, i saw all that as my fault, my errors, me being weak and spoiled . ive been dealing with this guilty and telling her about it, that it was being hard for me to forgive myself, but idk how much i actually have to forgive me. i dont think she realizes she was wrong too, and it sucks to see her being all indifferent now. like she doesnt care at all, like she is not hurt at all, and it is easy for her to put it all on me, because i was wrong, i was the messed up one, i was the troubled one. she said i broke too many promises but also did she. i realize i dont actually feel bad for this ending, i feel bad for not ending it before. she always said she messed up ppl, that she never rly had a health relationship, and it just weighted on me, because i didnt want her to feel responsible, i didnt want to blame her, i just wanted to be good to her, and just be happy.
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