social anxiety at it's worst but I have to keep going
I've always been socially anxious. I have ups and downs with my social anxiety and this is usually the result of what I am going through at the time. I have PTSD from things that have happened throughout my life, and I know this effects my anxiety levels. I've sought some EMDR treatment, and it was effective, but also expensive.
My social anxiety has been really bad since a good friend of mine commited suicide last year. My mother died in 2010 from alcoholism, and when my friend died (he had asked me for help with his depression 6 weeks before he died, so I felt even more responsible) it attached itself to the trauma of losing my mother. There were 3 instances where I broke down in public and started to cry and it was sudden and completely out of my control. This caused some kind of 'switch' to flip in my mind and I have trouble talking to people face to face without twitching and keeping eye contact (I even get nervous getting gas at the gas station). My mind begins to race and I can't concentrate. It's not that I'm afraid I will cry, it's just that I can't control my face/body movements. I'm also terrified I'll lose control, like get sick in front of someone.
My husband and I recently seperated, so I needed to get a job to support myself and my kids. I recently got a job and the orientation is tomorrow. I'm obviously concerned of how I'm going to be able to perform, and while I know that in a few weeks my anxiety will improve, I just need to find some mental exercises and/or tips, on how other people with social anxiety get through high-stress situations like this.
@nania7707nx I am so sorry, you've gone through so much and I just hope that your anxiety will get better. I have social anxiety as well and I have an intense fear of losing the poeple I love. My most trusted friend tried to commit suicide a couple of months ago and since then my anxiety has gotten worse. I truly hope that your anxiety will get better and what honestly keeps me going everyday is faith and hope. Fighting against anxiety is a daily battle, but I know that you can do this. I hope that my words were of some help and take care. ~Nicole
@nania7707nx Im sorry to hear about the challenges you have faced and also about your mother and your friend, it is not easy at all to dealw ith these emotions especially with PTSD but I wanted to say how amazing you are to get a job and to function so well despite the challenges you face. That is extremely strong of you and deserves recognition for sure! For the job situation I think that it is a situation of making that process as comfortable as possible. think positively, keep focused on the job at hand and the tasks you need to complete, I think that over time things will become natural and easier but for the first 2 weeks making sure you can take a minute is you need to, to recenter yourself and your thoughts may be helpful. Also taking things that may help calm you down, such as a fidget cube or spinner, having mints perhaps also to help you if you begin to worry. Searching relaxation techniques also will help, but personally i believe getting back into work will be a huge help as it will take your mind off allt he daily worries.
Kitty :)
