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Too anxious to talk to teachers

Hrhcolfersninja March 7th, 2016

I need help in some of my classes but I get really nervous and anxious when I go up to talk to my teachers. My heart starts beating really fast and my chest starts to hurt. It's getting really bad and I don't know what to do

7
Nosleeptilbrooklyn March 7th, 2016

I'm not sure if this is an option for you, but sometimes teachers gave an email address for parents and students to use. If that's not accessible at the moment, perhaps you could speak with a school counselor or advisor to discuss having email access arranged. Or perhaps if you have a friend you trust in your class to accompany you it may feel less uncomfortable.

Hrhcolfersninja OP March 8th, 2016

That's a really good suggestion, thank you so much!

northernChild March 8th, 2016

I know it can be very scary talking to teachers, but remember, it's literally their job. It's part of a teacher's job to help students, so in asking questions, you aren't doing anything out of ordinary. You're not the first student who has needed help, and you won't be last one either. The teacher is used to students asking questions and needing help, so you're not going to stand out. Between all the other duties your teacher has, they'll probably forget about the discussion as soon as it's over.

You're also not the only student to have anxiety. Your teacher will have faced other students just like you, who've been visibly scared. Your teacher may even have anxiety themselves! If the teacher is any good at their job, they won't mind. They'll ignore your anxiety and give you the help you need, because that is their job.

Ghost0fNightmares March 8th, 2016

Anxiety can be tough but its always good to keep calm and realise where u are and that you are present. :) couting your breaths helps alot too! :)

Please be safe x

Ngoat55 March 8th, 2016

One of the things I suggest to students who come and see me is to practice Amy Cuddy's power poses. If you have never heard of this, it is an amazingly simple tip, which anyone can do, and it only takes a couple of minutes:

This is the link to a short video describing her research into body posture and confidence at Harvard:

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2091589_2092033_2109441,00.html

What is particularly interesting, is that while she originally began investigating body posture in relation to students and achievement, the research results have helped people in all sorts of situations: speaking to their doctor, with stage fright, in job interviews. The list goes on and on. AND I think what you will find is there are activities such as yoga, which has wide stance, open poses, such as warrior pose, which are also useful.

The other activity that I really recommend is mindfulness. I know a lot of people are rabbiting on about this at the moment, but there is a reason - it works. What happens we have a feeling or thought that is uncomfortable is we try to avoid or deny the thought or feeling. Unfortunately, that actually makes it louder and more prominent. So mindfulness asks you to do something that becomes easier with practice: notice the thought or feeling and allow it to exist, but don't engage with it.

Here is an excellent talk by Ruby Wax about this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_DgOoKrkDA

She describes being able to view your thoughts and feelings as something outside of yourself - as if you are watching them on a television screen. Mindfulness takes practice, but it doesn't have to be hours and hours. A few minutes a day can build your skill.

And I also want to say that it is really normal to feel nervous about talking to teachers or anyone in a position of authority. The good thing is you can learn to be less nervous about it.

Daydreamer47 May 8th, 2016

@Hrhcolfersninja Awww I often felt the same way and about bosses too which is worse!! Maybe you feel they are the authority and could get mad at you or something or that you're bothering them? That's how I felt. Remember that YOU matter and your thoughts and feelings are important!! Yes they are the teacher in name, but sometimes you have things to teach them too! You are just as important as them and you deserve their time and help. :)