S.A. Prevents me from help
I feel like [Edited by @Dillion for inappropriate language]. I have severe depression and a mix of generalized and social anxiety. It took me MONTHS to even prepare myself, and finally to go and make an appointment to psychiatrist today. The moment I stepped into the crowdy queue for registration I had one of the strongest sa attacks recently. I just couldn't make it and ran out of building with a sense of defeat. I can't even go for help because of my anxiety. I will try with phone calling the registration but phone calls scare me as well. I fucking hate it. It took me so long to do that, and when I tried to get treatment my anxiety prevented me from it again. I feel absolutely defeated now.
@DanDev You're not defeated, because you are still trying. You'll win this. Do the phone thing. It might help to write what you want to say and read it to get the conversation started. maybe a couple of sentences from the post you put here. Tell them "I must come to see you. When should I be there?"
If you want a little practice, use the "browse listeners" tab on this website to have a 1-to-1 chat with a listener. Keep after this. You're making steps in the right direction. You'll get it.
@DanDev awww that sucks so much I'm sorry. Do you have listeners on here? The registration line sounds awful. I am struggling with having to call referrals, and it makes me anxious because they rarely answer or have a two month wait or something, but I just had to keep trying.
@DanDev Another thing I'm doing is exposure therapy lists, which you make a list of things that make you anxious starting from low to high. You start at very low/zero anxiety and then reward yourself with ice cream or something when you do one. I don't know how it is for you, but for me the phone call anxiety is worse for a higher pressure situation like calling a counselor or date or my mom. I had an idea of trying to call to get a pizza which is lower anxiety call and then work up. You could also even call a dead number like 555-333-2222 just to see how it feels. The list would be something like:
1. Dead number call
2. Order a pizza call
3. Call the tv/cable company
4. Call a close friend
5. Call a hotline
6. Call Mom
7. Call to get counselor
8. Call a date