My Avoidant Behavior
I'm in desperate need of help with my avoidant behavior. I've think I've developed this recently during and still post my eating disorder habit. I'm recovering right now (I don't binge as bad as before and practicing intuitive eating). However, I've fueled another bad habit: avoiding all my friends entirely. I'm so afraid thay they will be the reason to ruin my recovery. These are my habits and observations:
1. I deactivated ALL my social media accounts (facebook, twitter, etc.)ORIGINAL GOAL: to hide from them, so they never see a single photo of mine (gaining more than 20 lbs in a span of 3 months, being laughed at, criticizing me for being so fat) NOW: I've lost weight but I still fear that comments from them would ruin my recovery. That I haven't lost enough despite all my effort. Because after all, my recovery is dealing with my habit not actually losing weight so i get to lose all my weight from bingeing.
2. I AVOID being seen by friends at our neighborhood. I walk fast enough so they never get to talk to me. I don't want to talk to them face to face. I don' want to say hi. I always plug in my earphones (without music) so I pretend I didn't hear them when they call me. My heart beats fast just thinking about bumping with someone I know.
3. I don't want to talk about my old friends with the people I'm close to right now. When somebody brings up the life of my old friend I suddenly get irritated because I don't want to know.
Can somebody help? :(