Birthday anxiety
I have not a great experience on my birthday as a child. As much as I can remember, I have always cried on my birthday and had too much drama to deal with, at home and with friends. Plus I have a lot of social anxiety too. So for the past many years I don't enjoy celebrating it like going out drinking or eating. My anxiety sky rockets and this starts a month ago due to anticipation. For some years a faked it, being happy and all, but I can't take it anymore. My closest friend knows this but it just doesn't make a difference. Every year they ask me how I want to celebrate. I have tried and failed to explain to them repeatedly that I'm not comfortable doing this, but I realized that it's like talking to a wall. So I improvised and the last 3 years I lied and got out of it. It was the best thing ever. Now it's started again, the same process but I've run out of excuses. Even the pandemic is not an excuse since there aren't many people and my friend will insist on meeting with all precautions. I'm thinking of being very blunt and telling them that I am absolutely not interested in any 'celebrations' this year. But I don't know how to approach this, for me and for them. I'm extremely scared too, just anxious scared. Any suggestions? How can I get out of this?
Hi there! I think some people do use someone else's birthday as an excuse throw a party, and some might do it anyway for sake of their family and friends havin fun. But it definitely not okay if the birthday person feel uncomfortable with it. Birthday should be celebration of life first and foremost, and the person should feel grateful when surrounded by their love ones at the time. So I wonder if the problem is not really the birthday itself but rather the fact that some of your closest ones breaching your comfort zone. If they still insist, maybe you can at least make it small and modest. Or plan something else for yourself to avoid it. It's okay to take control of your own birthday and to say no to what others have for you especially if they didn't include you in the planning. Best of luck! Praying for your safety and happiness 🙏
Hi. Yes you're quite right that's it's a breach of my comfort zone, I've been thinking the same. That has made me all the more hesitant to actually be with them. I will be planning something else and I'll tell them about that this time. Thank you for your time. I pray for your happiness too. Take care.