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Avoiding but wanting to socialize

Lilyhux April 11th, 2021

Does anyone feel this way, like I am most peaceful alone, but it feels so lonely. I can't also explain why I tend to build this wall. I don't want anyone to know me, but I want connections and friends. I know I can't form relationships without sharing about me, but I fear being known and noticed. How do I live more freely :((

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Bee01 April 11th, 2021

This is exactly me! I donโ€™t know what the answer is but I hear you completely

1 reply
Lilyhux OP April 12th, 2021

Hiii hope we get through this ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜…

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friendlycupp April 12th, 2021

Same here, i also want to have freedom but i can't just give myself a freedom....

1 reply
Lilyhux OP April 12th, 2021

It's hard to do what we want, right :((

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msanime25 April 12th, 2021

Same here :(

1 reply
Lilyhux OP April 12th, 2021

Thanks for sympathizing. Hope we feel better soon

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thoughtfulComputer9328 April 12th, 2021

@Lilyhux

I can relate aswell, im paranoid, and i have very fear based thiking which im trying to figure out how to prevent, but i say sometimes if you fall into fear thoughts i think that gives you leeway to jump in and do the thing. Is the fear of socializing irl or online if i may ask, or just in general.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP April 12th, 2021

It's really anxiety that prevents us from doing things. For me, it's both socializing online and IRL. I avoid people in physical spaces. I also avoid social media. But deep down I want to participate, my mind just keeps me locked in :((

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Spring6976 April 14th, 2021

@Lilyhux

Hello!, When I feel this way, usually I pick topic that I'm okay about.

For example I like Comic caled "A" , I will search friend that like one, and the conversation end up talking about those character, storyline, plot.

So the other person wont mention anything about me, not asking about my name, age, or anything, just focusing in having fun about our favorite subject

I hope it will helps~

2 replies
Lilyhux OP April 14th, 2021

Thank you for this advice! ๐Ÿ’–Will definitely work on my interests without fear, too.

1 reply
Spring6976 April 14th, 2021

@Lilyhux

I'm glad I could be a help~

Wish you good luck

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chelmart123 April 14th, 2021

same with me. I hope we all can get through this though.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 12th, 2021

Yep. Let's try doing kind advices by others here :)

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sunnySummer187 May 3rd, 2021

I am like this because I struggle with accepting intimacy. For me, it's a defense mechanism. I'd suggest taking baby steps and setting small daily goals to build relationships with the people around you. Always celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. You can retrain your brain, but it will take time. If you stick with it, eventually you will build upon your little accomplishments and it won't seem so scary anymore.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 12th, 2021

Thank you for this! I think you explained it right; it's really a fear of intimacy for me, too. I guess the solution is like building a habit, huh? I hope you get through it as well.

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plutonf May 3rd, 2021

I feel exactly like this. I've always felt like I didn't want friends, like there's no desire. Yet I would find myself complaining I didn't have any, then when asked why I didn't make some, I said I didn't want any. I saw it as exhausting and having no benefit. But I am also just so lonely and want to connect with people. I really don't understand it.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 16th, 2021

Exactlyy. It's either we change our mindset and be okay with it, or take even small steps to change. For me currently, I'm still preoccupied with work so I less experience the exhausting cycle u mentioned. But i hope we both find time and strength to work on this ๐Ÿ˜Œ

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eknowles May 7th, 2021

@LilyhuxI

Hello-Exactly how I feel. Nice to know I'm not the only one.

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 12th, 2021

Apparently there's several of us here. We'll get through this !!

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Elyse285 May 11th, 2021

I feel the exact same way. I've been really trying to put myself out there, but still gone nowhere. If you get an answer could you let me know?

1 reply
Lilyhux OP May 12th, 2021

Hello! I haven't got a certain answer, no progress with mine as well ๐Ÿ˜“ But for you, go on and browse through the other comments here! Some are good advices that may help you as well ๐Ÿ˜Š

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