panic attacks
Lately I've been dealing with multiple panic attacks a day.
I have a deep fear of dying young and sudden death. It is an anxiety I have dealt with for a few years, but recently after I got laid off for the winter from my job as a horticulturalist, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gotten so bad that it's leading to multiple panic attacks a day. They mostly start by me having the instructive thought, then the anxiety symptoms make me think I'm having a heart problem or a stroke (tight chest, palpitations, sweating). Then I eventually call myself down enough to distract myself and it goes away, then the intrusive thoughts eventually come back...
The other night the panics got so bad that I had my boyfriend take me to urgent care. They checked everything, and though I had a higher heart rate everything else seemed normal. Just the trauma of acting out that intrusive thought and going to the clinic for that was heavy on me the next day, I was still feeling a heavy chest from all the anxiety. But since I was feeling a heavy chest, I'm anxious about having it, thinking it really is the heart issue and it gets worse and leads into another panic attack.
It just seems like a vicious cycle I'm in right now. I just want to be able to enjoy my time off and get things done that I normally can't in the growing season, but the anxiety cripples me. It's affected my GERD and Gastritis as well, causing physical pain on top of the mental.
I just want to feel normal. I feel hopeless about feeling better and I just want to feel okay with living. I don't want to be so anxious about dying that I forget to live. Please help
@secretGarden3333. Hi Secret Garden. I’ve been dealing with anxiety and depression for over 20 years and I totally understand the dwelling on negative thoughts and heaviness on the chest. I get myself worked up also. Sometimes I have to take a Clonazepam to take the edge off. Have you ever talked to a therapist/counselor/ or psychologist? What about meditation or self help books? I’m currently reading Feeling Good and 10 best techniques to beat anxiety
@secretGarden3333
I'm been living with panic attacks a long time. I can empathize. Don't feel bad about getting what you need!
Hi, I'm looking for someone to chat with?
@secretGarden3333
Hi Garden, I just came across your post and I wanted to reach out to you. I know we don't know each other but at least we can connect through words, emotions and experiences.
I truly understand how overwhelming and exhausting anxiety can be. Facing multiple panic attacks daily, dealing with intrusive thoughts about sudden death and the physical symptoms sound like an incredibly difficult situation to handle. You’ve been through a lot, especially with the urgent care visit, which only added to your anxiety I can imagine.
What I felt the most in your post is this feeling of loosing control and the need to empower yourself and feel that life is not tossing you around. What I admire the most is how you are taking steps like seeking medical reassurance and sharing this openly, which takes a lot of courage. From my own experience I know how stuck one can feel, but one can always find a way.
You’re not alone in this, and we are here to support each other. Don't ever hesitate to write to someone in this site, text me if you feel like sharing could be positive for your process.
Sending you light!
I'm not an expert but jst want to say
. .. I also had panick attacks once and I feared that someone is watching me... I couldn't sleep at night peacefully and almost had a racing heart beat every night while I slept... U know I realized when U find love and happiness ... U forget these... Chanting mantras do help a lot... Do give it a try
@secretGarden3333 I have experienced many similar incidents with anxiety. It persistently seems to try and convince us that we're 'about to die' and 'this one is the time'. I also relate to having a pain condition in tandem. It's the not knowing and dealing with the uncertainty which is so difficult - the - 'what if'.
I'm glad you reached out and can feel less alone. Dealing with these panic attacks is extremely exhausting and isolation makes it so much worse. I hope you can find a solution to it and will keep seeking help. I believe in you. 💙
In my experience, I had to get on some kind of medication to deal with it, as no other techniques fully alleviated the symptoms. This is not advice, but it might be worth considering thinking about those kinds of options if you're struggling for a long period.