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secretGarden3333
114 M Embraced 1
PathStep 5 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceJanuary 15, 2023
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panic attacks
Anxiety Support / by secretGarden3333
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more Lately I've been dealing with multiple panic attacks a day. I have a deep fear of dying young and sudden death. It is an anxiety I have dealt with for a few years, but recently after I got laid off for the winter from my job as a horticulturalist, the anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gotten so bad that it's leading to multiple panic attacks a day. They mostly start by me having the instructive thought, then the anxiety symptoms make me think I'm having a heart problem or a stroke (tight chest, palpitations, sweating). Then I eventually call myself down enough to distract myself and it goes away, then the intrusive thoughts eventually come back... The other night the panics got so bad that I had my boyfriend take me to urgent care. They checked everything, and though I had a higher heart rate everything else seemed normal. Just the trauma of acting out that intrusive thought and going to the clinic for that was heavy on me the next day, I was still feeling a heavy chest from all the anxiety. But since I was feeling a heavy chest, I'm anxious about having it, thinking it really is the heart issue and it gets worse and leads into another panic attack. It just seems like a vicious cycle I'm in right now. I just want to be able to enjoy my time off and get things done that I normally can't in the growing season, but the anxiety cripples me. It's affected my GERD and Gastritis as well, causing physical pain on top of the mental. I just want to feel normal. I feel hopeless about feeling better and I just want to feel okay with living. I don't want to be so anxious about dying that I forget to live. Please help
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