Winter Triggers
Hi. I'm finding that this winter has been one giant trigger for me. Brings me back to 6 years ago to when I left my (now ex) husband and was seeing my (now) husband. It was bitterly cold like it is this week. It just reminds me of all the time spent in my car. The safe house where I was staying. He was staying at the city mission (we both were basically homeless). I was trying to stay strong and juggle everything...him, my daughter, me..
When I feel the frigid air, it makes me want to not leave the house...not even to let my dog out in the yard. I already have trouble with just leaving the house. This just makes it worse. And I don't have a car, so I bus it all over when I have to. And that's all on top of the fact that I'm not working, my husband has a job he hates but won't look for anything else. I've always been the sole supporter for us. There's just too much stress.
Sorry to ramble on... but not having a good day today.
I think I know what you mean. We are in different situations but I don't leave my house much cos of things like sounds and people trigger stuff for me to.i no there is no easy fix, and we have to push ourselves to the limits to get small things done. But you can do it with the help of your husband, you have each other to support and a child to parent and I expect you are a good mom it's just sometimes I think we look down on ourselves and believe in doubt more than us. I have been reading a book called the secret it's about positive energy stuff, some of it I don't understand yet but I hope it can help with the way by think.canvyoh think of a way that can help you also? @AgathaBritainbound
@Huggingarms my husband is not supportive very much. He's too busy thinking about himself. My daughter is what keeps me going. And volunteering here helps. It keeps my mind busy.
We just trudge through things as best we can. I do have a question..these "odd" triggers..like you with sounds & people and me with weather and a few ohers...do you think maybe it's a PTSD response instead of just anxiety or depression?
I don't know, all I know that is when I see certain things or hear certain things it's like something entered my brain and bring images back to the front of my mind, I could be walking down the street then like be struck with fear like I can't move and shake but I have no voice, it's weird, I don't know what to call that when it happens, do I try and stay in cos I get embarrassed when it happens outside like people look and think I'm crazy or something but I can't stop it I don't no how to. I haven't been to my doctor cos I don't no what to say to them and it makes me feel stupid like I'm not in control of my life. I'm sorry, I don't no the answer.i think you daughter can help you to get strong and fight back.kids can do that cos they rely on you.i hope it works out for you and your husband can be more supportive for your feelings @AgathaBritainbound
@Huggingarms it really does sound like a severe PTSD reaction, which is extremely common. Please go see your doctor. I promise, he won't think you are stupid or anything else. You don't need to worry about what to say. Just tell him exactly what you told me. If you find that difficult, write it down and read it to your doctor. Or, just tell him you have a problem verbalizing what you need to say & just hand him your piece of paper.
I know how you feel about being in public and having a flashback (that's your response to your trigger). It makes you feel awkward. I absolutely hate drawing attention to myself in public. I'm not sure how you can deal with it. But you can't help it.
Please talk to your doctor. There is help for you. And keep coming here. You'll get tons of support. Hugs to you.
@AgathaBritainbound
Hi, It seems like you've been having a hard time for a while and the memories of the past, the rougher times come back and accumulate to what you already have because of the winter vibe... I feel like I can understand where you're coming from, the place I live at is gloomy, and winter really doesn't make us see the sun at all... it really makes us think too much I feel like.. the sun is really important when it comes to providing us vitamin D and our mood. It is hard to cope, because we can't change the weather, but I feel like knowing that weather is making us think too much and reflect on tougher times in our lives would make it a little better. I hope spring comes to you soon.
@helpfulSugar9 I am familiar with vitamin D deficiency in places that don't get a lot of sun in the winter. I used to work for a doctor and many people who had bloodwork done came back as vitamin d deficient, myself included. I was taking vit.d supplements, but we just can't afford it right now. Vitamin D is critical for bone health as well as mood. I also have "features" of Seasonal Affective Disorder. January-March is the worst time for me. I believe there is about 70 days until spring.
Your observations seems to be spot on. Alot of bad stuff seems to happen to me this time of year. I'm currently without a therapist, but I have a friend who used to do counseling (he has a PhD in psychology) and we email each other on a daily basis so that helps. And adding 7 cups to my support network is helpful. I'm just counting the days until Spring.
@AgathaBritainbound
I'm sorry for the late reply. I'm glad you know about the vitamin d deficiency and that you actually have a lot of experience knowing that it actually happens to people and seasonal affective disorder is very real. I bet you know this but I was wondering if you could somehow get light therapy? Sometimes they are available for free in certain facilities. But that also takes away some time. And the machine is a pretty expensive although it's less than $100. There's one that's $50 I've seen. Even in drug stores there are. I'm glad you're talking to a psychologist. I hope spring comes soon for me too.
