What a week!
On Monday I found out a friend from high school went off his scrips, had a breakdown and attempted to set himself afire. Yesterday I found out my closest friend received shocking news. Her ex husband almost killed her a few years back, which I already knew, but he might get out of jail on a technicality. Also, tomorrow is my first appointment with a psychiatrist. My anxiety level is pretty high right now. I just needed to put what I'm going through in a safe space. Thanks!
@BradleyK
@BradleyK
Hey Bradley
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It sound's like you have had a really tough week. I hope the visit will be great. :) If you need to get you're thoughts out - a lot of people here are willing to listen to you. 
Take care
audienta
On Monday I found out a friend from high school went off his scrips, had a breakdown and attempted to set himself afire. Yesterday I found out my closest friend received shocking news. Her ex husband almost killed her a few years back, which I already knew, but he might get out of jail on a technicality. Also, tomorrow is my first appointment with a psychiatrist. My anxiety level is pretty high right now. I just needed to put what I'm going through in a safe space. Thanks!
@BradleyK Hi there! As someone struggling with anxiety for almost a decade, I would not agree that you had a tough week. And no, I will not say that mine was tougher. It's just the way of how anxiety makes you think.
1. In the way you wrote it I understand that the friend from school is someone who you didn't keep in touch with. So, it's a tragedy, but not yours.
2. You're friend's ex MIGHT get out of jail.
3. You have an appointment with a person who might help you.
I don't see reasons to overworry here. And I will explain you why in a sentense that I read some while ago and helped me to discipline my anxiety. It says: "If a problem can be solved, there's no need to worry. If it can't be solved, worry is of no use.".
Can you tell me why this is so true?
@phannko
That's a wonderful sentence! Thank you for sharing!
@phannko really the friend from school, I had seen him just two days before. What scared me was what if I can't handle my issues and it becomes me? My friend with the ex was her safety, and she is safe and far away. Finally I am getting the help I need. All of this is making me stronger.
As for the quote about worry, for me it means I need to learn to concentrate on what I can do, and not focus on the things out of my control. I am learning not to worry as much. I am learning to control the panic attacks. I am learning to live in the moment. It's been 4 months since my breakdown. It's taken me this long to figure out what to concentrate on.
Thank you for taking time and compassion for me!
@BradleyK, you know what keeps me present? Beeing busy, physically and mentally. I'm sure many people told you that, it actually works. When I interact with other people, face 2 face, I just don't think about "what might happen".
I also get my panic attacks mostly when I didn't sleep enough + my stomach is empty + I didn't get enough water. So I got myself a good regime so I can avoid that. Of course, it takes time to change, but at least I don't have them all day, every day.
Another thing that helped me, were videos which explain what anxiety is to people who don't suffer from it. I realized how many stupid things I do, just like a bunch of others who are suffering the same. And because I'm that type of person who just can't stand to be with the flow and be "the same" as the masses, I slapped myself with the question "Do you really want to be like those pathetic people???". Yes, it sounds bad, bud it actually helped me a lot. And since then I slap myself in my mind, with this or with that sentence I wrote you.
And about your fear that this might happen to you, again, it depends on you :) Things like this do not just happen from unvisible forces that make us do things. We make a decision to do them. And if we care about our bodies and minds, if we do sports so we can keep toxins out of our bodies (toxins are proven factor for this type of mental issues), there's no reason we decide such a thing :)
I just remembered another sentence that helped me a lot. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. What do you think? :)
When it rains, it pours, doesn't it? While you can be concerned for your friends you have to be careful not to invite their issues and anxieties into your life. (Yeah, it's easier said than done, I know!) And you're going to see your doc tomorrow - use that as a springboard for welcoming positive change into your life.
I want to thank you all! My psychiatrist was amazing at helping me understand better where my anxiety and panic comes from.
@BradleyK
So glad the session went well!