Starting over in your 40s and 50s
I would like to hear from People in this Group who have never been really well off, have had a lot more negative Life Experiences than positive and how they are doing now, in the midst of this Pandemic which made everyone's Lives just that much harder.
For me personally, I count the Blessings that I do have, after leaving my last very Abusive and troubling Relationship in 2013, I have been single since then, and still not keen on becoming romantically involved with anyone. My experiences in Life with Romantic Relationships has left me longing, and decided that maybe I am just not cut out for them any longer. I like being single in fact.
Work wise has not been a great Success, and more so with COVID 19 coming into play. I lost long term Employment due to the corrupt Owners where I was based, who used COVID as the excuse to get rid of everyone on no notice, and get support from the Government, whilst they were really building a new Income, (at a cost of $65 Million) for which they needed the money.
It brought home to me just how disloyal a large majority of Employers are, which left me way more wary of them in general, (and less loyal, guilty and sacrificing for sure).
I was offered the chance to get away from that last Relationship properly, by moving in with my Daughter and her Partner and since then, we have all lived relatively peacefully in the one House. I contribute every way I can, both financially and labor wise around the Home which benefits all of us.
In the past year they have had their first Child together, which is as everyone knows, delightful and stressful all at the same time.
The last time I had a fling was back in 2017, and that was a major disappointment as well, but that is a whole entire new Story.
Currently feeling very disenchanted with Social Media, the World, and Life in general.
Really actually struggling for sure, whilst being grateful for the Blessings I have, it does not discount feelings of Failure at Life, and everything.
Feel like this is Wah Wah Wah, but just had to get it out, because I know there are others out there feeling the same, and just trying to find some inspiration, hope, community perhaps.
Thanks all.
I think this is a great post and not 'wah wah' at all! The title of your post was about starting over in your 40s and 50s. I've found, on my journey, that this is something that people worry about a great deal - i.e. 'i'm too old to start again', 'if I haven't worked it out now, i never will' and suchlike. But you're never too old to learn and to change - to think differently and to conduct your life differently. You talked a bit about being disillusioned with things like social media (I paraphrase). I totally get it. I struggled with this. And I found that the related issue (for me at least) was about not focussing enough on myself - which is what I'm trying to do. You'll find lots of kindred spirits here, I'm sure. And we're all rooting for you!
@BryanM9999
Thanks so much for your Reply!! Its good to hear that others get this and feel the same way, and your so right about not having figured out my own needs and wants, (we can so often easily put our own wants and needs on the backburner for the greater good so to speak).
I feel a whole way better after reaching out a lot more. Thanks again.
I changed direction in my late 30s bbut mainly because I had only been part time for some 9years and it was difficult financially but a job I loved. But with chronic pain it was difficult to retain the outdoor job so I went into teaching course and was teaching for 6 years and then 2 years ago depression hit me very badly and I could not cope with the job. So I changed again... And have never felt so Incapable in all my life. In my mid 40s I'm the oldest in the small team I work with but feel the most Ignorant and slow and uninspired . I think this inadequacy helped spiral me down again so I've been unsble to work past two weeks due to major depressive disorder and I'm feeling tired out of life. And disabled. I don't feel I'm capable for any work and it's scary cause I live alone and have lost all motivation to live, let alone work. I used t be extremely self motivated and active but now just feel intensely old (physically and mentally)
@anonyLemon4233
Thanks so much for your Reply, and am so sorry to hear your feeling this way, can totally relate to this also.
Am wondering if you have been inclined to always put everything/everyone else that needs attention before your own wants and needs?
Asking because of realizing in my own situation that this is one of those things that does not help me feel my best.
Being a Woman of course just makes it harder, because we are programmed to put everything else before us first.
Like the Housework, Family, everything else.
Then we have Financial Woes, which hits us at our very core, since Poverty destroys our very Spirit and makes Survival forefront in our minds, (that then relaxation is hard won).
I hope that you can sit down at some point soon and write out a list of how you would like the rest of your life to be, and that to remind yourself that despite how you feel now, all is not indeed lost and that you can begin again no matter what.
You can design your Life the way you want it to be.
Like even Socially. if you are like me, you may not feel that lonely with mostly your own Company, and may only need to be around others occasionally or rarely and even then at a distance emotionally if necessary.
Work wise, how you want your Work Environment to be, Supportive, Good paying, Good Benefits, Fairness, Honesty etc. And if the place you work in now is not like that, look further afield for something which may fit better or where you can work alone more often, if that suits better.
I know for me it is. Don't get me wrong, I like working in a Team and can do so if need be, but my Team Experiences in the Workplace have of late been rather negative, so I am lucky in the Role I currently have that I can keep to myself and don't have someone looking over my shoulder every 5 minutes.
Then its Hobbies, do you want to take up some new ones at any point?
Travel, (close to Home or futher afield). Would you like to Travel? Are you comfortable travelling alone?
Love? Do you think at some point that you may want to find it again with someone?
(For me, my answer is most definately No for now still lol). I can always go get a cheap Massage if I really need touch that bad, (am told this is a good thing to do when you are long term Single).
Write back to me when you can with your Answers, I really wanted to reach out to you with the hope that I can raise you up a little and hopefully help you restore your faith in yourself somewhat.
Please let me know that your Ok.
Cheers
@lovingSkies3397
I can relate with what you say about disenchantment. It's good to remember to take 1 day at a time, and be proud of yourself for doing your best in every moment of waking life. ❤️
