Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
lovingSkies3397
721 M Little Steps
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts40 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2022 Member sinceNovember 5, 2015
Bio

I love books, movies, music, travel, sleuthing, walking, dancing, crosswords, art, photography, fashion, cars, technology, nature, animals, and comedy.
Personally speaking, I am a 47 year old (separated) Mother of 2 adult children, one of whom shares a home with both myself and her fiancé, we all get on well, and have shared goals for the future. My other son boards with his fiancé and her family, and has done gracefully for several years now.
I own my own business as a Commercial Cleaning Contractor, and am going into my third year of Business, I do well at this, however time off is a rare thing, and is something I will seriously have to rectify somehow.
Currently am single, and after the last relationship ended in March 2014, I am not keen to begin another for some time yet, due to my last relationship experience being with a very violent and destructive male.
Well, I could add more here, but this probably sums up my life right now.







Recent forum posts
Starting over in your 40s and 50s
Anxiety Support / by lovingSkies3397
Last post
January 18th, 2022
...See more I would like to hear from People in this Group who have never been really well off, have had a lot more negative Life Experiences than positive and how they are doing now, in the midst of this Pandemic which made everyone's Lives just that much harder. For me personally, I count the Blessings that I do have, after leaving my last very Abusive and troubling Relationship in 2013, I have been single since then, and still not keen on becoming romantically involved with anyone. My experiences in Life with Romantic Relationships has left me longing, and decided that maybe I am just not cut out for them any longer. I like being single in fact. Work wise has not been a great Success, and more so with COVID 19 coming into play. I lost long term Employment due to the corrupt Owners where I was based, who used COVID as the excuse to get rid of everyone on no notice, and get support from the Government, whilst they were really building a new Income, (at a cost of $65 Million) for which they needed the money. It brought home to me just how disloyal a large majority of Employers are, which left me way more wary of them in general, (and less loyal, guilty and sacrificing for sure). I was offered the chance to get away from that last Relationship properly, by moving in with my Daughter and her Partner and since then, we have all lived relatively peacefully in the one House. I contribute every way I can, both financially and labor wise around the Home which benefits all of us. In the past year they have had their first Child together, which is as everyone knows, delightful and stressful all at the same time. The last time I had a fling was back in 2017, and that was a major disappointment as well, but that is a whole entire new Story. Currently feeling very disenchanted with Social Media, the World, and Life in general. Really actually struggling for sure, whilst being grateful for the Blessings I have, it does not discount feelings of Failure at Life, and everything. Feel like this is Wah Wah Wah, but just had to get it out, because I know there are others out there feeling the same, and just trying to find some inspiration, hope, community perhaps. Thanks all.
Bullying in the Workplace (long post Sorry)
Anxiety Support / by lovingSkies3397
Last post
January 9th, 2022
...See more Anyone out there experienced this lately? I did last year, (much to my own surprise at this Age!!) I won a FIFO role (Fly In Fly Out) on a Mine Site, and since I had lost long term Employment in early May 2020, (the Pandemic was used as the excuse but the real truth was much uglier) I was ecstatic when nearly 3 months later I scored a well paying Job. For some reason my Gut was telling me something wasn't right about this new Job though, but I dismissed this feeling as 'Butterflies' and got through it. Only a Week into the Job and I was asked where I wanted to work permanently, and I said Cleaning/Housekeeping (which is what I had applied for), well, the Company put me in the Kitchen, (where nobody else wanted to work and I knew why after). By this stage, all the Casuals that had been hired from other Companies for the Kitchen-Hand/Utility Roles, had conveniently been sacked, due to issues with the Chefs. But, the Chefs kept getting away with their crap and laziness and Bullying. The first Chef I worked with, had unbeknown to me been working Nights (9pm-9am) for 3 Weeks when I was rostered on with him. Our Company was struggling with a new Mining Contract and short staffed for Chefs but trying to make a million dollar impression with their new Client. Only 2 days in to our Shift Swing, he nutted off at me in front of the whole Breakfast Dining Room, I let this one go, (but I knew I would not give him another chance at this again). Then, after this happened, he tried it again, and I did not let it go and stood up for myself. He of course marched over to the Office/Boss immediately to tell his Lies about what happened. Then for some time after I was victimized by the other Chefs too, all of them lying and getting me to do their Work for them, whilst they sat smoking out the back, going to the Bar for a drink, talking on their phones, or just being downright lazy and unsupportive. One of them actually could see what had taken place with the first Chef, and that I was struggling and hurt and angry, but she reacted by kicking me into the Chiller and locking me in, whilst swearing at me. The 2 Witnesses of course collided with her and she marched off to the Office immediately too, before I could get out of the Chiller even, and told her Lies and got away with it because the Company was desperate. When the Company admitted fault to me but then said they were desperate for Chefs at that time so they had to tolerate their bad behaviors, I wished I could have recorded that conversation secretly. Sadly this set the pace for any other further issues I had, so basically my needs and rights went ignored and unheard or validated. I knew it was pointless to have any Support with the Company at all. And I soon found out that any of the so called 'Friends' I thought I had made, (that were always winging/joking about the Company) were not real Friends at all but backstabbing, lying, out for themselves traitors. The last straw for me, (and only 2 months into the 6 month Trial Period at this stage) was one night when the laziest Chef of them all, (and the one with the biggest nastiest Ego and mouth) kept ordering me around all Night, this was after 14 Days solid of putting up with her game playing tactics, changing the rules every day, constantly criticizing my Work, my Time Keeping, everything really. Every thing she had previously said she was responsible for and would do changed every day, and I got more and more pressure and workload of hers. One night I was having a very rare Break, (5 minutes to eat a Dessert) in the Dining Room at the end of our Dinner Service, (there was a late Group of Guys that always came in just before Dinner Service was up, that were still there). This nasty Chef came out in front of them all and admonished me like I was only 5 years old. In a big loud Voice she was like, 'can you not take a break right now please, we are busy, and it really is not the ideal time to be taking a break right now. I replied, "I am having a Break and eating the rest of my Dinner Thankyou' and no it is not urgent that I return to Work immediately. She continued to hassle me constantly that night, (by this time it was 8pm and she was finishing in half an hour after already skiving off all night during Service and getting me to do her Job but never once helping me with mine). My Shifts at that time consisted of getting up early (like 6am or so) in order not to miss out on Breakfast, (Kitchen shut at 7am). I would be in Housekeeping from 8.45am-3pm, during that day of heavy and hot work, (45 degrees in long pants and shirts), I would be expected to work like a Trojan, and then somehow remember to take micro breaks and have my Lunch, then be showered, fresh and changed into my Kitchen Uniform by 3pm every day. From 3pm-9pm was my next Shift. But I never finished at 9pm, not when Dinner was meant to be over by 8pm, and then there was the Clean up, (which the Chefs were supposed to help with but never did). I would be constantly doing their Jobs plus trying to take care of all the Cleaning and the Dishes as well. So most days I was paid until 9pm and working until 11pm or later to get the Job finished to the Standard they said it had to be. The other Kitchen hands on the next Shift would be lazy and not do stuff, to which you would be catching up all the time. They made it look like they had done it all, but in reality had done next to nothing. So this Night that the Chef was yet again hassling me was the last straw and I ended up shouting at her back, and telling her what I thought of her crap and lies and the rest. She immediately left and went to the Bar (once again) and there gossiped to our Boss about it all, then the next Morning, she was up earlier than I had ever seen her up and she was going over to the Bosses Office of course. Next I know, I am reassigned for the Days Work, out of the Kitchen and just bumming around doing some Housekeeping and then other stuff, but bored stiff. And at a loose end. In the following days, after this last Incident, and any meetings I had with Bosses about this were a waste of time and just a Game, I withdrew even further from things, not going to the Dining Room for Dinner even, and since I still had a Key, I was going over at Night and getting something to eat/drink. I knew there was only 1 Day until Fly Home for Break, so I told our unsupportive deceitful Bosses that I was not up to Working the rest of our Swing, and that I wanted to fly home and have a break to think. The morning of our Fly out Day, our Boss was conveniently seated beside me, on our Plane home, and she tried to be all Friendly, (after lying and deceiving me once again in prior Meetings). I ignored her the whole Flight home, because I had suffered a bit of minor Bullying from her too most of the time I was at the Job. When I arrived home, I had a Phone Call within 2 Days from some HR State Manager, who also lied and deceived me, but offering me a Job elsewhere with them. I stuck to my Guns and said I wanted an Investigation and laid out my Complaints, all of which were denied and ignored of course. There was no legal avenues to go down, all were wasted and lost. No free Legal Help, nothing, not even the Country's Fair Work Policies/Representatives wanted to help. I am still bitter from this Experience, and please do not misread me, I am no Pushover, nor am I weak. I can easily and will stand up for myself to anyone, nor do I take any crap. This all blindsided me, and made me even more wary of Employers and the general Workforce. For that matter, I am kind and supportive to all Staff in my Workplace currently, but I trust hardly anyone and that will stay that way forever. I have learnt that for the most part, you can have a laugh and a good time with your Work Colleagues, but do not trust anyone at Work. It is rare that you can.
Talk to an expert therapist
Hi, my name is Melissa and I am a Licensed Professional Counselor.  I hope...
Talk to Melissa Now