Social Anxiety is at a Max
I am feeling very anxious but in a different way than usual. I feel like I'm becoming anxious of waiting for myself to become very anxious and worried about whether I'll be able to handle it. Logically speaking, I think I'll be able to handle it because I've handled anxiety out of worse situations. Right now I'm having a difficult time not rethinking every social encounter I've had. I'm feeling very paranoid and anxious about the ways in which I've been received. I have no one to confirm or deny outside of myself because I don't have any friends (I have a lot of trust issues and a difficult time regaining trust for people who have done me wrong).
I'm trying to take this slowly and not start snowballing and assuming, but I feel it coming.
@greenteahelps
There's a lot of intense emotions that you have described. I'm sorry that you're feeling them at the moment 😔
May I ask what has caused the anxiety and paranoia? Perhaps once this is addressed we'll be able to help you make steps in the right direction.
You've been so brave sharing this with us. I thank you for that. Please take care of yourself 🙏🏻
Jem 💜
@Jem7Cups
Many things but started with being raised to be extra cautious and untrusting of people because they're out to get you. That's all I heard from my grandparents and my mother growing up and it's translated into me being unable to trust and form lasting relationships today.
@greenteahelps so it's almost as if you've been conditioned not to trust anyone. That's a real shame 🙁 Have you experienced any bad relationships or friendships that mimicked what your loved ones told you? As that may have reinforced the paranoia which would then lead to the anxiety.
Jem 💜
@Jem7Cups Yes I feel like I just keep getting instances of friends betraying me, not able to support me and not able to give back what I'm giving. I feel like part of it is reality, that I'm not friends with the right people but I still feel unable to accept the good or know that it is real when I see or experience it.