Social Anxiety and Paranoia

I felt like now would be the best time to write out something in the forums; for as long as I can remember, I've always struggled a lot with social anxiety, especially in school, when I always felt alone because I was too afraid to approach other people. In the online sphere, for a long time, I had started to grow a sense of hope that things could be better. Talking and making friends with people online, my social anxiety didn't act up as severely. But I'm writing this message now because now I fear I'm truly at extreme risk of losing my closest friend. The first friend I ever made in my life. And it's all because of my own overwhelming anxiety, because I couldn't keep my own fear and paranoia under control. They grew tired of me, got angry, insulted me, and have cut me off. I don't know what do now. Right now, my chest feels heavy and I'm struggling to even breathe. Looking back at how I used to act, I spent so much of our time together being an anxious mess who couldn't see past his own worries. I want to get better, I want to change, but I'm so afraid it might be too late.