Should I just give up?
I have been trying. Really hard. For everything. I studied really hard to go to the college i wanted,tried to make friends,tried to be fit, beautiful,nice. And where am I now? Lonely, depressed,with lost sense of self and fat. I feel liek I will never achieve the happiness i want and I will never become important to anyone. I feel like extra weight. I can't go a day without thinking of how useless and stupid I am. I am first year at university and instead of going out and living my free life that i have been yearning since i was a teenager i am confined to four walls ,friendless,and without being a good student. I am tired of trying. I want to give up. Every step forward leads me two steps back. I don't want this anymore.
This is so relatable. But i've realised useless is a pretty subjective concept. There might be a perspective out there in which you wont feel this way. I don't know how it gets better because it has not happened for me yet either. But just the fact that there's someone except me feeling the same makes it less scarier right? To that i'd dont give up. I'm trying really hard not to either, because our fight to overcome ourselves is the biggest freedom and challenge we have. 🐳
i'd say** Hope you feel better soon 🌻
Being on ur own for the first time is hard especially if you are isolated and it's very hard to be a good student when you are upset or depressed. My suggestion is to find something that helps you cope with the negative thoughts. Maybe this is an activity ongoing outside your comfort zone and finding a study group or partner. Ive been there. dont give up on yourself.