Out of control with self-loathing
I hate myself so much that I basically hold grudges against myself. I berate myself constantly; it seems like every other thing I do or say turns into a disaster. I was able to tolerate my own crap for a while, but over the past year I’ve been getting debilitating anxiety attacks, and lately they’ve gotten to be paralyzing. It’s like certain parts of my brain stop functioning for a while; like I can still speak but I’m unable to say the most important thing relevant to the moment. It’s only a matter of time before I no longer can function as a person.
I’m so miserable, but how can I help myself if I absolutely hate my own guts? I try therapy, but I’m just incapable of internalizing it. I don’t know what to do. I’m going to destroy myself if I don’t do something soon.
@FrostFeather
Hi, FrostFeather. It sounds like self-loathing is disturbing your life, making you unable to work or socialize normally. I'm sorry that therapy didn't work. Sometimes these emotion takes more than a few hours of therapy to digest.
I've been anxious about myself too. It seemed like everything I did ended up terrible and there was nothing I could do to change it. One thing I find helpful is to write diaries. It‘s basically recalling past events and writing them out in a more objective way. It was helpful for me to identify some small things I can do. Also, meditation could be helpful to reduce anxious feelings.
Wish you could feel better!
Your not alone I feel the same I really hope things get better for the both of us hate feeling this way, sending hugs.