My three years

Not long ago when I was in the third year of junior high school, I didn’t think about studying well. The materials were all copied from the answers, but I don’t know why one day when I was in math class, I kept thinking about the math teacher repeatedly trying to rape me, and then I repeatedly kicked him away. Picture. (I didn't like math teachers) At that time, I hadn't watched any video about sex. The picture I thought about in that class did not have male and female sex organs, but the picture showed the math teacher without clothes. Later, I didn't talk to others, (and my parents too) often didn't take a shower, brush my teeth, didn't eat, and my hands were so oily. I stayed up all night and fell asleep unconsciously. I don't know when it will start. When the second semester of junior high school is not far away, the last class of that afternoon will be a supplementary biology class. When the get out of class was over, I suddenly felt heavy on my back and chest, so I kept thinking about it, and then I took time off and went home and didn't go to class at night. After that, I took a vacation and didn’t go to school. Although I didn’t want to go to the high school entrance examination, everyone let me go, so I went. I couldn’t concentrate when I was listening in English. I didn’t know what I was putting, the composition of the Chinese test paper. I just wrote a little bit. In fact, I insisted on finishing the test and only got more than 570 points. After the exam, I was on vacation, more than two months, and I had been absent from school for a long time before the high school entrance exam, but I still felt that I was passing fast. After the vacation, I went to high school. In the first year of high school, I can barely listen to the teacher’s lecture, but I can’t concentrate and keep thinking about the problem of heavy back arms. It seems that my brain is very slow, and there is a time limit for the test, so I really bear the test. No, there was a time when English was in the last class on the day before the National Day. That class felt that my back was very heavy, and luckily it was about to be off. I often ask for leave in the first year of high school. Until one day, I told the principal that I was taking a one-year break from school. After a year, I still did not go to school until now. I should have been in the third year of high school. After I didn’t go to school, I felt more serious. After watching videos about sex, I kept dreaming and reminiscing about sex. I don’t know why. It is so serious that when I see a child or some couple's words, I will think of that picture. When I see a boy, I think that he has a sex organ, and his sex organ is inserted into my sex organ. . . In the third year of junior high, I went to the Puning Overseas Chinese Hospital to see a psychiatrist, but she said that I had no psychological problems, and my parents thought I was quite healthy. A long time later, I went to Puning People's Hospital again. I thought I might have a problem with my cervical spine. I went to the orthopedics department for an MRI, but there seemed to be no problem, but there was physiological curvature. I also went to the psychology department, but it was the same doctor, and she said that I had no psychological problems. A long time later, (December 16, 2019) I went to the psychiatric department of Shantou Fourth People’s Hospital. The doctor said that I was severely depressed. In fact, I did not self-harm. My cousin told him, but that’s not true. At most, it's just a little stroke. The doctor didn't let me take the medicine by myself. At that time, I was living at my grandmother's house and my cousin didn't know how much to take, as if I had taken the wrong medicine. After taking the medicine prescribed by the doctor, I was just sleepy at first, and then I became restless and kept walking around outside. I needed someone to hold me. It was also a problem to eat and bathe, and I couldn't do anything. After taking the medicine for that month, I went to the Fourth People's Hospital of Shantou City, but I changed a doctor. After taking the medicine for two months, I didn't feel restless. (Sertraline, buspirone, alprazolam tablets, oryzanol tablets) Then I took the medicine prescribed by the doctor for a few months. Although it did not have any effect, I could only go there to see it, and I did not Method. After taking the medicine, it seems that I have been off for about a week. In fact, I went to a general hospital in Guangzhou again, it was useless anyway, let alone this. After that, I went to Puning Rende Hospital to prescribe drugs for one month. Among them was olanzapine. When I was almost finished, I started to fidget again. It was not as serious as last time, but it was actually very serious. I went to Shantou City again. The psychiatric department of the Fourth People's Hospital saw a female doctor. She said that in fact, this 10㎎ tablet of olanzapine can be eaten half a tablet, and olanzapine should continue to be taken. After eating it, there was no effect, and I was still fidgeting. Then I went to Shenzhen Kangning Hospital and said that I was severely depressed, and I had taken many kinds of medicines, so there was no need to say anything. I went to the Shantou Fourth People's Hospital to see the doctor Gao who had eaten for a few months, and every time he didn't listen to what I said or asked me anything, he could prescribe medication after a psychological test. My dad told him that when he was fidgeting for the first time, he ate (Buspirone, Sertraline, Oryzanol, Alprazolam) so he just took it. I don’t know how long I won’t be restless. I became numb, but I was still very irritable. I couldn’t expect to be able to do housework. Then I finished my dad and called him. He said he could continue to take these medicines. My dad prescribed these medicines not far away. Medicine, one month old, now I am going to finish it again.