Moving on
I find myself everyday regretting ending things with my first love. This was over 10 years ago but when a trigger happens it all floods back. I feel like it is ridiculous and I need to move on from it and the feelings. I have gone through a lot in my life. Many significant moments that should have more of a bearing on me, grief, loss of loved ones, abusive relationships, late start in my career.... but all triggers lead back to him. I wish there was a forget button. When I ended things I was at a very low dark time I. My life and I thought I was doing what was best especially for him. And goodness know he is much better off with an amazing family and career. I just can't move on from the anxiety of the memories. I feel alone with this, for lack of better words, obsession or obsessive thoughts that brings me so very low.
@BorderCarlie
There are some people who believe that in order to move on from the past and any regrets you are carrying with you, you need to reach out and resolve. I think it's kind of like the 12 steps in AA - list the people you have wronged and make amends.
Are you hoping to somehow get reconnected with him? Is it important for you to be connected with him? Would you feel better if you sent this person an apology? "I'm sorry I ended things the way I did...."
@thoughtfulmomma
thank you for your response. No I'd do not want to reconnect with him. He has moved on and is in a good place. I have PTSD and I think reconnection May make my anxiety worst. I want the skills to manage my anxiety. I want to move forward. Sometimes I wish there was a forget button for certain things.