Feeling overwhelmed by a burnout even though it's been months
Hi everyone, I hope you all are having a nice day...
I want to contact you because I've been experiencing recently some depression episodes related to a burnout on my first job months ago, those memories tend to come to my mind at random moments, and when they do, I tend to feel as bad as in that moment.
I worked as a customer support agent for a month and a half, but after the training I didn't understand much, everything was very confusing and new to me (To this day, I'm not really sure if this has something to do with my ASD), I thought I couldn't handle it to the point I got myself into a dilemma about risking my mental health but earning my own money, or feeling mentally stable without the earnings I wanted to have. I had some serious panic attack and during my first day of nesting, I told my trainer that I wasn't really sure if I could do it and if I could take some other options, but she tried to encourage me to continue.
A month passed and I started to feel I didn't really improve or felt satisfied about what I do despite some good CSATs (I mean, common decency is the minimum request everyone must have to work anywhere), but besides that, I still felt confused about many processes and some people who called me used to tell me they didn't understand me and prefered to talk to someone else (I wasn't really sure if I sounded insecure, it was my accent, the internet connection in my house or my voice tone). Even though I had some previous (But brief) panic attacks, one day I couldn't handle it and couldn't continue working properly, I didn't want to talk to anyone (Only on the Zoom chatroom), my legs started to feel weak and felt some pains in my head and heart, two coworkers and my supervisor were the only witnessers and somehow, I felt sorry with them because they didn't want to see me like that either, but I couldn't help it, I'd feel so sorry if I'd see someone feeling like that without knowing what to do is a heave feeling of impotence.
About a week ago after that, I decided to quit the job, and even though things started to go better emotionally for me (I even worked as a tutor for elementary and high school students online and they appreciated my work), there are sometimes I could feel sad (Because, let's admit it, it's normal to feel sad at times, it's a human emotion) those memories come to my mind and the physical discomfort comes back, and so do the ideas that I'm useless, impotent and don't want to talk to anybody near me, it has been happening frequently and I don't know what to do, I'm tired of feeling physically and emotionally bad for that after all this time, what do you think could be good to help with this? I'll appreciate your messages and support, because I know you have good advice.
Without further ado, I also wish you a pleasant evening and remember to take care of yourselves ^w^
