Feeling better yet not quite

Have you ever felt a feeling that a knot is tied around your brain - inside and outside and they are pulling at each other. I have that feeling every single time I run away from acknowledging that I miss him.

I went on a walk listening to Tracy Chapman's songs and I had this lump in my throat but there was a rush and I acknowledged that your life had a purpose and well you thought you have achieved it and this was the right time to end it.

I always loved you and will always love you for who you ARE - be it in your corporeal form or just your soul.

I love you and thinking you're not by my side - I can't breathe.

Basically my grief leads to anxiety these days.
I get panic attacks about almost everything as you - my lifeline is now gone from the earth.

whenever I was scared, I leAned on you.
thinking I can't do that yet or be part of your happiness makes me really sad and anxious.

in the darkest of times, I find myself heaving and hands shaking trying to hold you for one last time.

yes - I just want you to tell me - Let me hold you!

Ending with happy beams and hugs.
hang in there all 🥰