Every day feels like a struggle.
I've been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. It goes up and down. Sometimes it has been relatively easy to manage. Other times, I have trouble just getting out of bed. For the past month or so, I've been experiencing the latter. I am very sensitive to my negative thoughts lately and have trouble believing that I am anything other than a burden to the people in my life.
I've been in a long-distance relationship for over four years now and, despite daily communication, affection, and reassurance, I often feel that my boyfriend doesn't even like me. Even though this is completely illogical, I just can't see in myself anything worth loving, I suppose. I haven't heard from him yet today, so it's particularly bad at the moment.
I thought, for a while, that this was strictly a romantic relationship problem, but then I noticed that I have similar thoughts when it comes to my best friend. Sometimes, especially if her responses are short, I feel like I am annoying her and she doesn't actually want to talk to me and that maybe she doesn't like me either. We've been friends for almost two decades.
I wish I knew how to stop feeling this way, because it's so difficult to deal with every day.
@sporkchop
When we hate/dislike, or think negative things about ourselves, we tend to think other people feel the same way about us too. I know the feeling. I think that if you learn to be more kind to yourself or to be your own friend first, you may feel less unsure about the way others feel about you. It all starts with how loving you are to yourself.
Your thoughts about you may not be someone else's thoughts. The trials of anxiety gets really, really tiring. But you never know what your future holds. Good things do happen. Happiness does arrive, as long as you keep looking for it. Sometimes the best things that we desire or need in life, takes time to arrive. And once it does, you'll be more than glad that you kept going.
I truly wish you well.
