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sporkchop
6,112 M Moving Along 2
PathStep 165 Compassion hearts79 Forum posts1,091 Forum upvotes1,116 Current upvotes1,116 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2024 Member sinceSeptember 4, 2016
Bio

33.
Struggles with anxiety, depression, OCD and ADHD.
INFP.
Writer.
In a long-distance relationship.
Enjoys video games, reading, coloring, crochet, makeup, skincare, Korean dramas, cartoons, my cat, scented wax melts, lucid dreams, tacos, and winter.
Yoongi-biased BTS ARMY.

Recent forum posts
Can Anxiety Cause Unfamiliarity?
Anxiety Support / by sporkchop
Last post
 May 9th, 2020
...See more I've been experiencing higher anxiety than usual lately, triggered by a few different things, I think. The pandemic situation is certainly not helping. Generally, my anxiety tends to focus on my relationship. This isn't necessarily because of actual relationship problems, I just tend to worry more about my relationship when anything is making me anxious, even if it's completely unrelated. Recently, I haven't been feeling like myself and everything has just felt sort of weird and "off." I've also noticed that my boyfriend feels a bit unfamiliar to me and it's making it hard for me to feel connected. Is this an anxiety thing? Is there anything I can do about it?
Every day feels like a struggle.
Anxiety Support / by sporkchop
Last post
 April 9th, 2019
...See more I've been dealing with anxiety for most of my life. It goes up and down. Sometimes it has been relatively easy to manage. Other times, I have trouble just getting out of bed. For the past month or so, I've been experiencing the latter. I am very sensitive to my negative thoughts lately and have trouble believing that I am anything other than a burden to the people in my life. I've been in a long-distance relationship for over four years now and, despite daily communication, affection, and reassurance, I often feel that my boyfriend doesn't even like me. Even though this is completely illogical, I just can't see in myself anything worth loving, I suppose. I haven't heard from him yet today, so it's particularly bad at the moment. I thought, for a while, that this was strictly a romantic relationship problem, but then I noticed that I have similar thoughts when it comes to my best friend. Sometimes, especially if her responses are short, I feel like I am annoying her and she doesn't actually want to talk to me and that maybe she doesn't like me either. We've been friends for almost two decades. I wish I knew how to stop feeling this way, because it's so difficult to deal with every day.
How much emotional sharing is too much in a relationship?
Relationship Stress / by sporkchop
Last post
 December 21st, 2016
...See more I've had anxiety and depression issues for as long as I can remember. It's usually at a low-moderate level, but has gotten very bad over the past few months or so. When my anxiety gets high, it can attach itself to a particular area of my life; last time it was my health, this time it was my relationship. I had terrible anxious thoughts, always expecting my boyfriend to leave me, thinking he no longer loved me, that he didn't enjoy talking to me anymore, that he didn't think I was attractive. This was made worse by the fact that it's long-distance and he can't comfort me with hugs or kisses. I ended up asking him for reassurance over and over, and he would give it to me, but it never seemed to help for very long. I've been terribly needy and overemotional. I recently found out that I have several hormonal imbalances, which may be contributing to my emotional issues, and am hoping to get that taken care of soon. But in the meantime, I still feel awful. My boyfriend and I had a discussion last night/today, during which I wanted to address a few things which had been worrying me, especially my concerns that I was pushing him away with my negativity, and my concerns about whether or not we were on the same page with what we want from our relationship in the future. He assured me that he did still want the same things that I do and told me that he didn't feel I was pushing him away, but that my need to constantly discuss my emotions and ask for reassurance was kind of "grating on him." He told me that he didn't want me to need to rely on him so much and he wants me to be able to handle things on my own as well. We came to the agreement that I would work on processing my emotions on my own more but that he would still be there for me when I really needed him. But I'm not sure how to differentiate between things that I should handle on my own and things that I should go to him with. I know that asking for reassurance or needing validation every time I feel a bit sad or worried is too much. Needing to lean on him on a daily basis is not healthy, right? How do I find the right balance?
You can do it.
Anxiety Support / by sporkchop
Last post
 September 25th, 2016
...See more I've been writing in my journal a lot recently in an attempt to help with my relationship anxiety. Some nights are better than others. A couple of nights ago, I was working on combatting my anxious thoughts with some positive thinking and decided that I'd share part of what I wrote in my journal, because I think that a lot of us can probably relate. My mind wants me to feel alone. But I am not alone. I am loved. And I am so many other things. I am strong. I am passionate. I am caring. I am emotional. I am brave. I am creative. I am smart. I am talented. I am so many things. My brain wants me to focus on the bad things, on what could go wrong. But I don't want to do that. I want to focus on the good things. I want to focus on what could go right. The future is not some scary place where bad things wait for me. I create the future with my present. If I focus on the good things now, then good things will continue to happen. And if some unforeseen bad thing happens, I will get through it, as I always do. Because I can.
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