Disappointed and Angry at Myself
I have always been able to control my situation and my life, or so I thought! I have had panic attacks since the age of 12 which led me to self medicating. Alcohol became my best friend and I could function with out a care. Until one morning I sat at my table and cried as I cracked a beer open. I realized I no longer wanted to drink, but my body needed to drink. I became sober after an extreme battle. My anxiety has always been a crippling part of my life and still is to this day. I am a Nurse and Covid has put me through the biggest battle yet. There is so much death, there is so much pain and I have no control over it. I have never been so close to drinking again and my level of Anxiety/Panic is on a whole new tier that I've never experienced. I don't know if I will make it through this, but I sure in the hell am going to fight. π