Disappointed and Angry at Myself
I have always been able to control my situation and my life, or so I thought! I have had panic attacks since the age of 12 which led me to self medicating. Alcohol became my best friend and I could function with out a care. Until one morning I sat at my table and cried as I cracked a beer open. I realized I no longer wanted to drink, but my body needed to drink. I became sober after an extreme battle. My anxiety has always been a crippling part of my life and still is to this day. I am a Nurse and Covid has put me through the biggest battle yet. There is so much death, there is so much pain and I have no control over it. I have never been so close to drinking again and my level of Anxiety/Panic is on a whole new tier that I've never experienced. I don't know if I will make it through this, but I sure in the hell am going to fight. 😔
@Lace7777
Thank you for everything you do! Especially during this difficult time. You are a hero
And from someone whose loved one struggles with the same thing as you, I'm soooo proud of you!
I can tell how hard it is and you give me hope
But hang in there with all you can, it sounds like you have came so far already
@Lace7777
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds incredibly difficult what you have been through in the past, and especially the new challenges you're facing now with COVID. From everything you've shared, it took out one nugget: you are a warrior! I know in the midst of struggle and pain and fear, it can be near impossible to feel or see how strong you are. Your story made me emotional about how someone who has been through so much and has come out on top is feeling new and past emotions about this new situation. We are here for you. I am also a healthcare worker, so I know that sometimes the battle feels endless. And you're still fighting the war, even when things are beyond tough.
