Constant Doubt
Over the past few months I’ve had people point out to me that I seem depressed and that I probably have OCD. I can’t help but doubt this, sure I’m not as happy as I want to be and I check things often, but surely not enough to qualify for either. Regardless, I’ve been feeling pretty bad the last few weeks and I’m still on the fence about seeking help. I have an interest in mental health, so I feel like I just manifested these disorders because I know the symptoms. I’ve considered talking to my school’s social worker but I don’t want to be a waste of resources for people who have “real” problems, especially if I’m somehow subconsciously faking them. The doubt on whether or not the problem is real is causing more anxiety than my actual issues and it’s so tiring. I can barely focus on my schoolwork now. What do I do?
It sounds like posting here was a first step for you in trying to sort out what’s going on. That’s not easy to do, so thank you for sharing what you’re struggling with. Know that you are not a waste of resources, or of anything. Your school’s social worker is there to help you or to direct you to someone who can work with you to figure out and cope with the anxieties you’re having. I want to encourage you to reach out to them or someone else you trust to help you through this. You’re not alone, and you are worth helping. You deserve to feel well and whole.
I’m just so scared that I’m secretly faking it somehow. I’ve felt like this for years and I’m like... mostly fine I guess? I don’t know, I’m also scared or realizing that I actually missed out on my teen years being depressed, not that I can do much right now with the pandemic as is.
Hey! I’m sorry to hear that you have been struggling! You are not alone! I think reaching out might be really good! I don’t think you are going to waste resources! They will help you learn how to cope better with your anxiety! Please reach out! That’s what they are there for! If you ever need to talk please don’t hesitate to reach out to me! I am here for you!
@calmWishes2119 I’m just so scared that I’m secretly faking it to get attention to be “cool” or “edgy”. If that’s the case I don’t want to take away helpful resources from people people who actually have these problems
@lavenderOcean1474
Maybe you're depressed, maybe not. Maybe you have OCD, maybe not. It's hard to have people tell you this, because then you start looking at yourself, and then Googling things online and you start believing what it says - yeah, I do that, or yeah, I think that way sometimes. It's like having a pain in your head, Googling it, and all of a sudden you have a brain tumor and your head is going to explode because of what you've read.
Now, I am not a doctor, so I cannot say whether or not you're fine, or if you're struggling with some issues, or if there is something going on in between. But I will say that if you want to go talk to someone, whether it's your school social worker or getting an appointment with a psychologist - go for it. It's important. Right now you are recognizing that something doesn't seem right - maybe you're just having a bad time right now, or maybe there's something else going on. The best way to find out is to talk with someone. It's not a waste of resources. You are as important as everyone else who is seeking guidance and help.
Your problems are as real as everyone else's, and it's important to find out what's going on. If you were having terrible stomach pains, you'd go to your doctor to get checked out. You wouldn't think "oh, it's just pain, there are people with bigger illnesses, so I won't go."
The fact that you're having anxiety about this and that it's affecting your school work is reason enough to talk to your social worker or school counselor. That's what they're there for! They're there to help you.
Sometimes it can be scary and awkward to ask for help. Maybe even embarassing. But it's perfectly fine to ask for help. It's empowering to take control over your physical and mental health.
