Anxious or Questioning?

I posted in the LGBT+ community already, but I figured here would be okay too.

II' a 26 y/o woman in a long term relationship with a man, but for yhe last 5-ish months I've had this irrational anxiety about possibly being secretly lesbian. I've always identified as ace/demi but maybe slightly bi romantic, maybe comfortably vague. But in these months since this bad funk started I've done a lot of research and realized I've had ocd behavior, probably bouts of depression and a lot of paranoia. I know it's a weird subject, but the first time I read about HOCD (homo/heterosexual OCD, some call it SOCD for sexual instead) it felt like a breakthrough. It sounded exactly how I felt.

So I think my main fear is essentially existential? Like I might not be me, like there might be a secret stranger that's going to take over my body and I'll have to leave my boyfriend and quit wearing the girly stuff I like. I feel like a toddler that's upset because they think they're getting sold to the circus and they don't want to go, I'm utterly convinced but it's probably completely irrational. I've sorta self-isolated and I don't have any good coping mechanisms.

It's weird. Is talking about it ruminating? I miss not being afraid of my own brain. Let me know if this doesn't belong here.