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Anxiety from reading fiction or watching TV/Movies
Sparky45 January 3rd, 2021
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Part of my anxiety started years ago. I noticed it when I could no longer watch new fiction without nervousness, tight muscles, and sweats. Normal anxiety stuff.

It came to a head watching Doctor Who (in 2005)....I just could finish the season. I loved the show, but the "feels" were too much. It's been getting worse since then. My son had to beg me to watch movies with him and, if I did, by the end a was a wreck. I can watch shows I've seen before, mostly, with no problem and I have little problem with documentaries.

The same thing happens when reading new fiction...which really sucks because I've always been a bookworm. Non-Fiction is fine, but pick up a fiction books and I a bundle of nerves all the way through.

I've forced myself to read a few new books and while I like the stories, it's like a torture to force myself through. I hoped that by enjoying the stories and making myself finish despite the anxiety, I would break the cycle - but it doesn't seem to work. And when I have good days with no "anxiety epsisodes" I'm almost scared to read because I'm afraid I'll trigger something.

I hate being broken.

4
thoughtfulmomma January 3rd, 2021
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@Sparky45

Can I ask, is it certain types of fiction that triggers you? Like maybe mysteries or action trigger, but comedies are okay.

Sparky45 OP January 3rd, 2021
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@thoughtfulmomma

I honestly couldn't say. Movies were never my big thing, so when this started creeping up I just avoided them.

Looking back, I watch "Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse" and "The Greatest Showman" with my son. Both were good flicks, but I was in cold sweats by the end.

Books: I tend to prefer sci-fi but even one with a humor twist seem to tense me.

In looking into myself, I wonder if it's because I don't have control of what is going to happen. I know intellectually they are fictional creations, but my emotional brain just see a situation out of it's control. I say this because I can watch or read things I've read before without any issues.

thoughtfulmomma January 4th, 2021
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@Sparky45

Can you go into a store you've never been to before or drive somewhere you've never driven and be okay, or do those things cause your anxiety as well?

Sparky45 OP January 4th, 2021
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@thoughtfulmomma

Those things aren't a problem. I mean that there is some minor anxiety there, but no different that most people feel when doing something new.

After writing the original post and deep thing it (and the repsonses) I believe it is a control issue that is causing my problems. I'm not in control of what happens next to the characters and not knowing may be my trigger. When I go somewhere new, I am in some control - I can choose to leave if I want.

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