Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Anxiety about helping people?

anyonymouscollegestudent December 2nd, 2020

Hi! I just recently noticed this happening with myself, and I was wondering if anyone else goes through this too or knows why it happens. I have generalized anxiety disorder, not social anxiety, but I've noticed that if I'm unable to help someone it makes me extremely anxious. An example, to clarify, my boyfriend was angry because of a traffic situation a few days ago and asked if I could help him figure out why it was making him as angry as it was. I'm really bad at identifying and explaining emotions so I was basically no help, other than being a listener, but the thought of not being able to help launched me into a panic attack. I hate that this happens, I like helping people but don't appreciate the anxiety that comes if I'm not able to help

7
7motivation December 2nd, 2020

@anyonymouscollegestudent

You might be experiencing an emotion explained by the "dreaded drama triangle" model of social interaction per Psychologist Dr. Karpman.

The trick is to follow the good Listener guidelines and let them solve their own problems, not be the Rescuer.

The Drama Triangle Role problems are explained along with alternative roles that work better in this video here...

http://nicertube.com/q80ns0

1 reply
anyonymouscollegestudent OP December 17th, 2020

@7motivation

that video was really helpful, thank you!

load more
BurdensDown December 3rd, 2020

@anyonymouscollegestudent

You say you like helping people, but are you helping them for them or for yourself? Is the issue that you don't have self gratification after you are not helpful? Are you a people pleaser?

2 replies
anyonymouscollegestudent OP December 17th, 2020

@BurdensDown

was super busy with finals and just saw this

I think it's more because I hate it when other people are struggling with something and I can't help. I'm the oldest child and I've always been the "helper" out of my friend group so helping people is kinda what I've always done

1 reply
BurdensDown December 20th, 2020

@anyonymouscollegestudentI

load more
load more