Afraid
I'm a student in uni. Basically this year my mental health went completely downhill. This year started off in a really stressful way, i got more and more stressed more and more anxious, experienced different physical symptoms from stomach aches to every possible symptom of IBS (irritable bowel syndrom). I just kept pushing and pushing myself to do more put two months ago u experienced such a horrifying panic attack... I don't even have the words to describe it. All i can say is thag i thought i was dying from a heart attack. My legs were shaking, had horrible chest pain. My family took me to the hospital were i was checked and they found nothing serious and little by little i started calming down. From that moment i started feeling depressed. I realized more and more that i wasn't enjoying life. I don't think i'm special in anything i tried several occupations and hobbies in the past but didn't like any of them so i just stuck to working. But now i think, yeah i'm working to get a my degree, to get a job... But what if i die during that? I wouldn't have enjoyed life at all. There's nothing that makes me feel accomplished. Don't get me wrong i love my current life hamdoumillah. I'm blessed with an amazing family, amazing friends... But it feels like there's something holding me back from enjoying that. All i can say is that life lost it's taste. Also, with this last panic attack, i started being paranoid about every little pain that appears in my body. Which makes things worse. Please i'm very confused i feel like i did this to myself. I don't know how to recover from this.
Hey @aquaWest3410,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry you are going through this. From my experience I know what it is like to have amazing family and friends but not enjoying that. It is tough to feel this way but you will get through it. Have mercy on yourself, you are going through a challenging time in your life so give yourself time. I am not a professional therapist so I can only speak from my heart and based on my experience with anxiety, but what helps me when I can't enjoy the amazing people I have around me anymore it is to take a break. No phone, no computer, no communication or almost none. I spend half a day or a day or a week focusing on myself. I think about myself and take care of myself. I go on a hike or watch a movie or do a road trip, it changes every time. The important thing is to do something I feel like doing and cutting myself from texts, calls, emails, social interactions. Not interacting with those amazing people for a bit makes me realize how amazing they are and then I can appreciate having them in my life. As for being paranoid, I totally get it. I had that too. If you can, don't hesitate to go to your general practitioner to get checked out, it may bring you some reassurance. Some people do tapping exercises (there are videos on youtube) to help them reconnect with their bodies and lower their anxiety related to physical pain. Maybe it is something to try?
I hope you will find something helpful in this post. It takes a lot of strenght to share those type of feelings and experiences online so congratulations for doing it, you are amazing.
