PANIC/INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
I feel like this is the third day I've posted in here I've had no sign of letting up. I'm fearing this is the end and it's going to last forever. I feel so weird and different. I was just fine, I'd been fine on the intrusive thoughts for a good year. Now I've had some awful thought about my boyfriend, Saturday and it's cycled into this awful feeling of utter guilt and numbness. I'm absolutely terrified. I know I'd never do the things the intrusive thoughts say but I can't let go of the fact I'm thinking them. I can't imagine feeling this horrified for the rest of my lfe,I just recently sought help yesterday and I had a bit of hope and in a flash, it was gone that night. I don't even have a psychiatrist appointment till April 5th. I'm so panicked I'm losing mind. Now I have a whole bunch more thoughts that I don't love my family and boyfriend. Will it end!? I'm scared and need hope has anyone had luck with a medication to combat the intrusive thoughts?
@Kaela123 I'm so sorry this is happening. Try calling the psychiatrist and expressing the urgency of being seen. If the content of these thoughts involve violent imagery I believe they should be willing see you sooner. Just know that you're not a bad person and that our actions speak louder than words or even thoughts. Something that sometimes helps me when I have a list of growing concerns is to journal. What I do is journal a concern then I respond to it as my best self or how I believe I would parent or coach someone. The pattern of my journaling is concern then response and I repeat until all of my concerns have been aired. It's slowly but surely really helped me change a lot of my negative thinking and it's an ongoing process. There are sites and apps like dayone to journal on the computer with a password. It's good that you know who you want to be and I hope that getting your best self speaking back to those thoughts will help you. Wishing you the best.
@Kaela123 Hi, is it possible that you have OCD? I'm unsure from reading your post. I have it and along with it can come intrusive thoughts which I know make no sense whatsoever, yet they hang around and they can make me feel guilty because they can be downright horrid sometimes. I've had them before but not in a long while. I'm certainly not diagnosing you, and I hope that your psychiatrist can help you with this. Some mental health issues have same or similar symptoms when it comes to a diagnosis. While you're waiting perhaps in the meantime, acknowledge that you are having an intrusive thought and try to be aware that you're experiencing an uncomfortable feeling and thought. Maybe try writing them down and see if that helps. Perhaps try some of the guided meditation on this site to see if it quiets your mind for a bit. In terms of medication, I have no suggestions. If you are having a panic attack, a paper lunch bag, covering your mouth and nose while you breathe in and out can help so that you're getting a lot of CO2 and that seems to help me when I need it. Sorry you're having intrusive thoughts, please recognize them for exactly that - they're unwanted, they make no sense and even if they are horrible thoughts, you know that they are only thoughts. Please let us know how it goes with the psychiatrist and let us know if you have anything else you want to say out loud here. You can also tell your GP or psychiatrist about what the thoughts are too because they've heard this before and it will allow you to dump them somewhere. Please be kind to yourself.
I also agree with NoSleep, if you have any violent thoughts that are scaring you, certainly call and ask to be seen sooner and tell them why. You can also go to emerg if you're hearing voices rather than just having thoughts. So, if you're scared or afraid that you may act on thoughts or voices, certainly reach out and ask for help sooner.
If they're just horrid thoughts, in the meantime, acknowledge that you are having uncomfortable thoughts and remind yourself that they are just thoughts. I hope that something here is helpful for you.
@courageousTangerine833 thank you so much, I'm trying to see the light it's just hard. The thoughts just won't go, thank you for your advice and kind words. It's just so damn hard.
I've been having these intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend and lots of anxiety. It only happens when we are away from each other but it is getting so hard to handle and I just feel like I can't deal anymore. I've got an appointment with a doctor coming up but it's over a month away and I don't know if I can wait that long for support and help. I just need to be able to vent and find away to cope. Any advice?!
