toxic school friend, destroying my mental peace

so to start off, i’m currently a uni student studying computer science. Im in my third year and have met a friend online in my first year online. We continued being school friends and she helped me a lot with assignments in the first year. Our school then transitioned to campus classes, and so i got to meet her (and some other friends) in person. We still kept in touch and did some courses together in our second year and made some mutual friends along the way. In the beginning of the second year, we got closer where she would ask me to go to her place and go to school together since she stays 15 min away from school, and sometimes i would go to her place so we would do assignments together and sometimes she would help me with them (I thanked her everytime she helped me and I’m pretty sure she knows i’m grateful). However, starting from the the end of second year or beginning of my third year (this year), I started to realise that she was not the type of friend who i would hang out alone with, as despite being an introvert, i always find myself trying hard to be fun in our conversation and felt drained whenever we were talking. And gradually, i started to realise the way she’s been treating me, or at least how i feel she’s been treating me, i always had this feeling that she was being condescending but doesn’t realise that she is. (like she would randomly tell me she scored a distinction in a subject out of nowhere as if she wants to let me know that she’s above me or something and she knows it is a hard subject but i didn’t really mind that — i don’t like comparing grades) I felt like i had to start relying on myself more, and so I gradually didn’t ask for a lot of help in the second year as i did in my first from her so i didn’t depend on her help as much as before. comes third year and I collaborated with her group of friends for quizzes as they are weighted. At first all was good and I wasn’t really asking her much questions (i only asked like one question this year). but we were doing 2 courses together where one course only had 2 of us doing a group project, and the second course involves 4 members including me and her. Doing the group project with only the two of us was the start of the end. there are 2 parts to this project, and she knew she is the better one at coding and would assign more parts to herself, but i was okay with it since i would handle the report part — i also did my part on the coding part. But we stared the assignment late though i told her i wanted to start early as i had plans on the weekend (Sunday was the deadline and i started messaging her on tuesday). She told me she had her own personal assignments to do and i respected her schedule and she delayed till thursday to finish her personal stuff, and since i was working on the report, i have to know the finished code too — i can’t start if she doesn’t start.

I attempted my coding part and sent her the code on friday night and she only replied saturday afternoon, and i have plans on saturday which i already told her i have on thursday night to which she replied ok, and told me to work on what i can. She didn’t bother to check the code i sent her the entire night or next morning and only asked me bunch of questions on my code when i was outside and I don’t have access to it. I felt like she was being intrusive by calling me when she knew i was outside and make it seemed like rushing the assignment was my fault. The next morning, she was spamming me with questions and asking me the report situation when I already sent her the link a few days back. I didn’t reply immediately as I was still doing the report and was too angry to reply.

She then sent me a message with a rude tone saying like if i don’t care about the project then just say it, and that she could do it herself. At this point, I knew she just doesn’t respect me as a person despite me doing whatever in my power with the assignment, and doesn’t respect my schedule despite knowing i had plans. I didn’t reply anything rude back as we still had to do a presentation together and didn’t want ti be awkward. But i was already very bothered by her attitude at me and how she treats me whenever she’s unhappy about something. But i’m sure that is not how one should treat antoher whenever one is unhappy. I then confronted her about her not being able to respect my schedule, and her rude tone, but she sent me a long message blaming me that she had to do all the parts and that we should have equal responsibilities in the assignment, and then sent another message apologizing to me if she had offended me. which i find that her apology wasn’t sincere because most of the message was her telling me about how much work she had to do instead of acknowledging the work I had done and thinking she did all the work, and only apologized in one sentence. I was fuming mad at this point and didn’t accept her apology. What i didn’t expect her to do next was that she told our mutual friend that she was sad about it that i didnt accept her apology — which was a disgusting move. i know She isnt sad about it because in our second group project group chat, the way she indirectly said something rude to me was obvious to me and she knows what she was doing. I made some changes to our second group project report and notified the group but no one acknowledged that message. and few days later, she messaged the group chat with “this is not supposed to be here right” and when another person replied “i think so”, she replied “right?”, followed by “who did this” “ugh”, “can someone change it?, nvm i’ll do it”. At this point she was already being disrespectful doing that in the group project indirectly at me and she knows i did it. And what’s worse that isn’t the end of my torture. We had a final presentation slides to do, and I did my part in a way that she thinks is wrong which i don’t mind but, the way she told me was “this is not what you should be writing”, “you should know what you’re doing for your own part” and stuff like that. And i’m pretty sure you can tell by her condescending tone that i was already so bothered by her attitude towards me. I cut her off completely after course ended, but my mental state has been the worst. I couldn’t even focus on my exams as all that was on my mind was how she treated me and how unfair i felt that she was treating me this rude while treating our mutual so nicely. the course ended in may, and it’s july now. Every single day i am being tormented by the thought of her, and how condescending she was to me and i was just there for her to feel better about herself since she knows she better at coding that me, basically how small and stupid i felt because of her. Although i’m grateful to her being helpful to me a few years back, i feel like things have changed and she’s not treating me as an equal, and disrespecting me as an individual which im mad about with myself for letting her make me feel this way. I don’t know how to forgive her or myself about this whole situation, because it’s always on my mind. What’s bothering me still is that we still be doing the same degree for another 1.5 years and i feel like i’m walking on eggshells if i ever bump into her in sch one day. She makes me feel like i’m the one who did her wrong when she was the one being unnecessarily rude to me and not being self aware about the way she talks to me. I really can’t deal with the thought of her because it’s make me feel so angry and unfair and It’s destroying me inside out, it’s destroying my mental peace, and it’s destroying my uni life. I even hate the fact that i gave her the power to make me feel like *** for weeks now. I need help to get over this unsettling situation because I really need to regain my mental peace, because its not mentally healthy for me. I really need help so if anyone has any input i’m all ears.

I sincerely thank you if you have read everything and i know i’m bad at telling stories but I have tried my best to express my situation and feelings. I really need help with how to make peace with myself. Everytime i think about her and the situation, I would remind myself that I should focus on myself and what happens to her isn’t my business whether she’s doing good or bad in school. It’s just unfair that she gets to treat me like this and she gets to tell my friends that she’s the victim and i’m the bad person for not wanting to reconcile or accept her apology. I need help please :(

Thank you so much for reading again!!! :)