Scared of “what if” all the time
Hi everyone. Just asking if you can share how do you keep yourself anchored when you find yourself in a situation like me when just so scared of the future specially “what if” or “horrible things that can will happen?” Or how to save yourself from such negative thinking?
i know I said “what if”s but a lot of it are negative events most likely to happen so at least it’s somewhat realistic that I agonize over.
examples of how this anxiety is so ruining in little aspects of my mundane life:
im just making tea or coffee.——> “ I know my rent is going up again and I’m struggling already….. I’m scared about my living situation or how I can even help my family financially.”
im at work——> “I even pick up extra shifts every now and then but yet it’s feel likes never enough. Not ti mention, there are layoffs coming and I already know I have a high chance of my hours being cut…. or if worse case being fired.“
im brushing my teeth——->” that person today was not happy with me at all. That’s the unpteenth time now. My god what if they hate me now? What if they talk lies about me like so and so in the past? It happen once so I know it can happen again ”
im awake at night ——-> “I can’t sleep now. This is my only free time. I feel like i have to do something. I feel unproductive and a waste of time. Feel useless. My gosh I’m so lazy”
I don’t know why but so much negativity is in my head over every day things. Like I said, the events, I agonize over are negative events that gave a higher possibility are more likely to happen than not….. so my what ifs are not totally out if nowhere….
But even if negative things happen, I want to be able to be strong enough to get over them and move on with life. But what are some mental exercises that you guys do or what do you tell yourself when you feel you have such a big road block in your life? I think one of the thing is I don’t have anybody Particularly close to in friend or family that I can confine such a personal thoughts with. So I don’t have a very strong support system or at least when I try to tell them, they don’t really understand.
thank you for your time
@Eli098 Hi. I experienced these negative thoughts too. I learned quite a few tools that can help from this https://youtu.be/H1T5uMeYv9Q
We can see evidence of threats coming (like the possibility of layoffs) but we can’t really predict the future very well. Often times our predictions are much more dire than the actual event. So when my mind starts a worrying story, reminding myself that I’m not a fortune teller is really helpful. Before I learned this I sometimes spent days replaying catastrophic movies in my mind. It robbed me of living in and enjoying the present, or it made me vent to friends and family, and sometimes we need that, but if overdone we can weaken those relationships.
@hopefulPond6108
Many are tormented by the constant what if's ..... i was for most of my life but in ONE only one case the worst case happened i came through that and ever since am no longer afraid of the worst case or many what if's .........
No i am not one of those who go blissfully along only thinking positive will happen but i take reasonable precautions not stop doing things or working my self up over all the possible..... have you tried the exercise of the best possible it is corny by i find if i venture into too many what if's i focus on only good.
Hello there thank you kindly for your thoughts. I am glad to know that only one scenario worst case out of many happened to you only one time. I will try your exercises of thinking about what is the best possibility every time I think a worst possibility thought. again thank you kindly for your time
Hi my dear. Thank you immensely for taking the time to reply back with your helpful Thoughts! I watch your recommended video, and it went on to other videos too, and it helped!
I will begin to tell myself that I’m not a fortuneteller, and we never know what is true or not. that is a refreshing idea to try.
I thank you for your thoughts and best wishes to you on your path my dear.
@Eli098
"What if" is 99% of my anxiety and it's always "what if...."fill in worst case scenario." And I feel helpless, and that I can't do anything, and it sort of spirals out of control from there.
I haven't solved it yet, but am working on it in therapy. I have my triggers and I'm addressing them slowly. I do try to think about the positive aspects of things that make me anxious, and I have to realize that all of that negative anxious talk is all stuff I am making up in my head. I'm creating a problem where there isn't one (at least not that I know of).
I'm working on becoming busy and doing things that take my mind off my anxiety when I'm having a "what if" moment. But it's hard. I have to find something that can keep my brain focused on something completely new and different, because it fights me and wants to keep taking me back to "what if."
