Living at parents house at 25/BF separation anxiety
Hello everyone! Hope you’re all doing well. Decided to come here today to vent a little as I’m feeling super down lately, specially today. I finished my masters in molecular biology in December and decided to look for a part time job while I decided to do a PhD or not. I got one this January , was a good salary and I kinda liked it even though I wasn’t working in my area of expertise. My parents live in a small village , and my boyfriend lives in the nearby city around 25 minutes by car. We decided I should move to his bedroom and stay there while I was working in the shopping mall 5 minutes by foot from his house as it would be easier for me. Was an incredible month, we ate together, talked everyday after work. I was getting used to it and we were super happy. Last week they called me to cancel the contract. I was speechless, suddenly I had no job , no money, didn’t even spent a month there. So I came back to my parents house today, because I can’t stay there without paying or contributing to anything. It’s not his house, he lives in a bedroom with other roomates. They like me a lot and we all get along but I didn’t pay rent, I was just in is room. I just feel like crying, I want to go back and spend my days with him. Our goal is for me to get a room there too. But I have no job now which means I have to be here with my parents again. I feel so empty , everybody around me has a job, or lives independently. My parents were always very overprotective of me and my sister to that’s why it’s so hard to stay here. I Have been dreaming to leave this house for so long and was almost there now I’m back to 0. I am hoping things don’t happen for a reason and I’ll be back to be living with him again!
@Barbaraachilario
Hey, I just want to start by saying that your feelings are completely valid. This is such a tough and frustrating situation, and I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must feel to have something that was making you so happy slip away so suddenly. It’s okay to grieve that it was a big change, a step toward the independence you’ve been craving, and now it feels like you’ve been pulled backward.
But please, don’t think of this as going back to zero. You made progress, and even though it doesn’t feel like it right now, that progress still counts. You got a job, you moved out, you experienced what it was like to live with your boyfriend and you’ll get there again. This setback isn’t forever. It’s just a pause.
I know being back with your parents is hard, especially when you’ve been wanting to break free. But this doesn’t mean you’re stuck. You’re in a transition, and as painful as it is, it’s just one part of your journey. You’re capable, you’re smart (a Master’s in molecular biology? That’s amazing!), and you will find another opportunity. It’s just a matter of time.
For now, be kind to yourself. Let yourself feel the sadness, but don’t let it convince you that you’ve failed because you haven’t. You’re still moving forward, even if it’s not as fast as you’d hoped. And I truly believe you’ll be back living with him soon, this time on your own terms. You’re not alone in this. Sending you so much strength and hoping the right opportunity comes your way soon.
Hi! Thank you so much for your kind words! It gave me some sense of comfort! I’ll definitely try to be positive and see this part of my life as just a tiny step to something bigger. ☺️