I'm in a very dark place rn
I started off this week by hitting the gym, baking and new things..But I just feel sad and hopeless plus I have been fighting tears while working out at the gym. My old bestfriend of 10 years left off to another state and has a good job. I'm still in university still in my undergrad but my major doesn't even excite me anymore. And it's gotten to the point where I have began hating myself and my life choices. I don't feel happy even when talking to my boyfriend who I feel doesn't understand my anxiety. I just want to go into a deep sleep and not worry about anything.
@tealMelon1154 Lost your best friend, lost excitement for a previous educational choice, feeling misunderstood by someone who is closest to you. Regardless of what you are going through, it sounds like you prefer to stay physically active. Yet you say that you want an emotional rest too. It can be difficult. I feel compassion while reading your story.
@KrillCactus
It's not my post but I appreciate your compassion for the OP and this compassionate response.
@tealMelon1154
I'm really sorry you lost your best friend, this emptiness can be hard to go through. I can relate to everything you said, like hating yourself for your life choices, finding your own major uninteresting and in my case, feeling like I don't belong. It's really sad your boyfriend doesn't understand your anxiety, this might make you feel lonely and isolated. I understand wanting to go to deep sleep.
It's really great you are going to the gym and doing a creative, relaxing thing like baking. I really encourage you keep doing them, so they may help you get some respite from the anxiety. I hope you do gym safely because from experience, overdoing it trying to forget pain may cause other problems. Baking can be really soothing during this time. If you had other soothing activities that you haven't done in a while, may try to do them too.
Anxiety may not suddenly disappear but the activities will bring some comfort. And over time your mind will grow, you will get more pleasure from those things so you will be able to enjoy more relaxed time. What you are going through isn't easy, but it's not hopeless. Hope you can go easy on yourself and appreciate yourself for even the little things you do. You deserve to love yourself. Those little things aren't little, little things make the big things, don't underestimate yourself. Sending you lots of prayers and soothing energy. <3
Dont be so hard on yourself. Its ok to feel the way you do. Just accept the feelings and find joyful things in your life to help ease the pain
@tealMelon1154 Teal, I can feel your strength in your post even though you may not think so, which is understandable. It's hard to be stuck in the dark, by yourself. So I'm glad you're reaching out and I hope baking, going to the gym, etc will help with where you are right now. I'm applauding your determination to keep doing what you love doing. If you need someone to listen and sit in the dark with you, you're always welcome in my chat. You're very strong and human. Life sucks at times, although reaching out is a huge step to healing and support.
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this. Losing a best friend can be really tough. It’s okay if you regret you educational decision just remember that you have a long life ahead to learn new things and meet new people. I hope that you’re doing better.
Just checking in to see how you’re doing TealMelon
