Health anxiety (sensitive topic)
This is embarrassing but I very rarely get to talk to anyone about it.
When I was younger I had the occasional phase of self abuse, sometimes of a sexual nature.
I had a phase of putting too much pressure on my "manhood" and even stretching the skin. Ever since then I've had some very noticeable veins and I worry so much about it and what it will be like in the future. I'm always reminded when I go for a shower.
I've had it looked at in a hospital appointment and was reassured not to worry too much and that no drastic steps should be taken. But I feel that doesn't rule out all possibilities. I've started using a hemp barrier repair cream. That might not change how it looks but hopefully it strengthens the cells/tissues. I'm fine with intercourse thankfully. But I feel I am in the wake of many issues (both physical and mental) caused by a troubled past.
@LuckyDragon88 Thank you for opening up and sharing with us, that is a courageous share. I appreciate you for that dragon. I understand that these experiences have left lasting worries and emotions. How do these memories from your past influence your perception of yourself now?
@ASilentObserver
Thankyou for appreciating my post. All it takes sometimes is for one person to listen and understand. Sometimes I let my past define me when I shouldn't. I'm happy that recently I have actually been experiencing fond memories of the past. I'd like to stay that way. But as for the bad experiences, they remind me that I didn't make the most of my opportunities for a better life, instead I was often stuck in a negative mind frame. The mental strength I have now, I wish I had it in the past. But I must not forget that at times I did have that mental strength and the whole time I've been paving the way for myself and even others. If it wasn't for those times when I tried my best, learned and grew, I wouldn't be as confident as I am now. However, I often want to take the love I have now and shower it over the past. Psychologically speaking that actually works in terms of opening up positive memories and remembering those I loved, but it doesn't fix those things that were broken and unrepairable. At the very least, history teaches us not to repeat our mistakes. Thanks so much for listening.
