Finding strength and happiness
Things have been okay with my anxiety in general. I’m working hard, consciously, to not take the path of stress and worry. For the most part, I’m succeeding.
But then there are days like today. I’m good. There are no problems, generally. There is nothing but my brain to spark my anxiety. And it wants to. My brain wants me to worry.
someone asked me once, jokingly, after I had finished a stretch of anxiety and had resolution, “now what will you worry about?” Because they feel I have to have something to be anxious about in order for me to feel normal. That being anxious is my normal.
i hate that thought, but it could very well be true, couldn’t it? My brain wants to drag me into a center of anxiety all the time, even when there isn’t anything to worry about.
How to I stop taking that path? How do I find the strength to ignore that and grab a hold of happiness? It’s a decision I have to keep making every day, every hour of the day.
It is exhausting.
@thoughtfulmomma having to worry about something is definitely not you being your normal self. Your normal self is when your happy/content ❤ anxiety is more like a monster that creeps into your brain without warning. And you can't ignore it, and fighting it can seem hopeless sometimes. So learning to live alongside it is what will help you the most. Recognise its there and that it's just a monster speaking, and tell it "I know what your doing and it's not gonna work this time" that's what helps me the most anyway ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ I hope it helps you too ❤ I'm always here for you ❤
@thoughtfulmomma You are not your anxiety. What that other person said, even as a joke, was pretty obnoxious. This doesn't have to be your normal. I'm glad you've been having good days- and don't beat yourself up about bad days. You aren't your anxiety. I'm about to ask some annoying questions, so bear with me: are there any thoughts related to the anxiety or does it just suddenly hit you as a feeling? If you can identify thoughts, practicibg CBT might help. If it seems to strike you like lightning, try DBT. Have you considered meds? Meds don't have to be forever and they aren't only for when you're in a crisis. If you can't seem to shake the anxiety, even if you have good days, it might be worth looking into. Other than that, double check yourself to make sure you've been physically taking care of yourself and your space.
@determinedSea4370
Sometimes it just hits me, or I wake up feeling anxious, and sometimes it's because I'm thinking about something. I have identified five different "reasons" for feeling anxious. I work with my therapist, and that has helped tremendously - I understand a lot more about my anxiety now and do a variety of things to address it, but the brain just sometimes won't leave me alone. :) I do have medication I can take at night if I'm really having an issue, but during the day, I don't have a daily med. I'm going to discuss this with my doctor to see if it's something I should pursue.
@thoughtfulmomma
It's good to know you've got such insight into your anxiety! That's a lot better than most people tbh lol and you're working with a therapist- again, that is great. But, I get how despite doing all these things- having the therapist and knowing the ins and outs of the way your mind/emotions work- the mind/emotions just continue to do what they want and you can't quite seem escape the problem. I've been in and out of therapy, on and off meds, for a decade now, and I still can't seem to shake my brain in the right direction- I totally understand. I'm rooting for you!