Confusion
I'm confused. My brother recently has gone off to college and things are changing around the house. My parents are acting all happy and excited. Listening to my complaints and making changes. Which is great but also very scary. There's a pattern to things in the house. Amidst the usual chaos that brings nearly everyone in the house to their breaking point comes a euphoria period. A time where we all forget the bad stuff and everything seems happy. Then it all comes crashing down until it all blows up again. When my sister left for college a low point was reached. This was probably the worst chaotic since I was a kid. My parents like pushing my limits and putting a lot on me and for the most part I just did as I was told.
Even if it felt like it was killing me I would always bounce back and finish the task at hand. During this time however, I didn't bounce back. I broke. My body physically couldn't handle it anymore and it was terrifying for me. I was used to not being able to mentally handle things, but physically made it so surreal for me. Right now, my parents are insanely proud of my brother for getting into a new school. Helping him get ready to move and their being all happy. Which I want to be able to enjoy but this is a really big high. Promises are being made and their keeping their word. Which has rarely every happened before in the past. My mind is horrified of the low that may come after all this. The pain and agony will be otherworldly if that's the case. I really want to enjoy this and have hope that this is the beginning of a possible healthy environment but I'm scared. I'm scared and confused and I really pray for everyone's sake this isn't just another cycle.
Hello.
I see that there is a major change underway in your household with your brother moving out to college. Everything seems to be alright now but from your perspective, there is a noticeable, reoccurring scenario that can happen after this high-spirited time you're having with your family now.
It seems that your confusion stemmed from the fear of a potential low after this high, because of a past experience.(?) I know that it's difficult to think that things will turn out for after your last experiences, but right now, you have this time to live through; to ground yourself back to reality and not to take these thoughts of the future as facts, for they are still assumptions for the future. Especially that all of these worries affected you physically as well as you mentioned.
Take a step back and breath. You're still in the present moment.
-Take care.
@Katharsis22
Thank you for leaving this comment, and I'm doing my best to enjoy the present. I still get scared but I'm doing these breathing exercises and such to help.
You're very welcome.
These can be very helpful. It's good to know that you've been trying out these exercises.
Hello.
I see that there is a major change underway in your household with your brother moving out to college. Everything seems to be alright now but from your perspective, there is a noticeable, reoccurring scenario that can happen after this high-spirited time you're having with your family now.
It seems that your confusion stemmed from the fear of a potential low after this high, because of a past experience.(?) I know that it's difficult to think that things will turn out for after your last experiences, but right now, you have this time to live through; to ground yourself back to reality and not to take these thoughts of the future as facts, for they are still assumptions for the future. Especially that all of these worries affected you physically as well as you mentioned.
Take a step back and breath. You're still in the present moment.
-Take care.