low level background anxiety

back from vacation and starting to slip back into my regular life. It's amazing how much not having responsibilities can positively impact your mental health!

now that I am back, it feels like i'm forgetting something important again. A slow, creeping feeling of unease that just wont' go away. New things are scary again. ( ex. i'm starting some work at a new venue, with better pay and a little more responsibility, but it's too many unknowns and i'm trying not to freak out)

My scope of the future seems to be shrinking again. I gotta focus on the next two weeks, instead of the full scope of my life. I know that i can bring meaning to my existence just by being me, but there's so much to maintain! (health insurance, bills, physical health, nutrition, etc)

And because I'm working again, i feel like all of my time is slipping away. I'm not even full time but i have been working way more hours than before my vacation. I've piled my plates too high, and i can't seem to relax anymore because i always want to get things done. I have to be careful that it doesn't slip back into mindless productivity and anxiety about not making it.