Took a Couple of Steps Back
I have been doing pretty okay with my anxiety. I mean, I have my moments, but through therapy, a lot of time thinking, analyzing, meditating, surrounding myself with good energy, etc. I am so much better than I was a few years ago.
Yesterday I had a setback. I received some information that triggered my anxiety and I felt like it was four years ago and I was back to reacting the same way, panicking, wanting to cry, feeling helpless, and just generally moving toward a full on panic attack.
I guess the good thing - if there is a good thing in this - is that I recognize what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. I know why I'm scared/panicked and I'm addressing it thoughtfully. I'm looking at the situation, using tools and strategies I've learned. I'm not just curling up on the couch in a ball and crying my eyes out.
Do I feel better that even though I slipped back into my old ways, I recognize it and I'm making it "less" that I used to? I don't know. Just because I can see it for what it is doesn't make me feel better or lessen the stress of it all. I guess that's going to be the next part of my journey in all of this - accepting it and feeling better for it.
@thoughtfulmomma Hii, it is good to see you. Thank you for being here with us and sharing. I can understand you are experiencing mixed feelings about recognizing your anxiety triggers and reactions. On one hand, it is a step forward that you understand what's happening, but on the other hand, it doesn't necessarily ease the discomfort. I hear that seeing yourself fall back into familiar patterns can bring up difficult emotions. How do you think acknowledging these patterns and using coping skills might impact your overall progress in the long run?