Anxious Mess
I've got myself into a mess of things and it has my anxiety through the roof. I can't get myself under control. I'm feeling like I could just take off running as fast as I can and never stop. I feel like I need to escape myself. It's a long story, but I messed up pretty bad. I'm feeling overwhelming guilt, shame, confusion, and fear of the outcome. I need to get it out but I can't talk to the people around me. My thoughts, feelings, and confessions will hurt them. I'm not in crisis, so this doesn't warrant a call to the crisis team. I won't see my therapist again until the end of the week. I won't make it that long. I feel like my mind is going to explode with all the racing thoughts. I can't focus on anything. I'm all over the place. I hate anxiety.
@renwllms
I want to start by acknowledging the immense pain and distress you're experiencing right now. It takes a lot of courage to open up about feeling overwhelmed and trapped in a mess of emotions. Please know that you're not alone, and I'm here to offer my support and understanding.
Anxiety can be incredibly overwhelming, especially when it feels like there's no escape from racing thoughts and intense emotions. It's understandable that you're feeling the urge to run away and escape from it all. However, it's important to remember that running away won't solve the underlying issues or provide the relief you're seeking.
Feeling guilt, shame, confusion, and fear is a heavy burden to carry, and it's natural to want to protect the people around you from the pain you're experiencing. However, it's also important to remember that sharing your thoughts and feelings with trusted individuals can provide a sense of relief and support. Is there someone in your life, perhaps a close friend or family member, who you feel comfortable confiding in? Sometimes, having a compassionate listener can help alleviate some of the weight you're carrying.
I understand that it can be challenging to wait until the end of the week to see your therapist. If you're feeling like you won't make it that long, it might be worth reaching out to your therapist's office and explaining the urgency of your situation. They may be able to offer you an earlier appointment or provide additional resources to help you cope in the meantime.
In the meantime, there are some coping strategies you can try to help manage your anxiety. Deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, and grounding exercises can help bring your focus back to the present moment and provide a temporary sense of calm. Engaging in activities that bring you joy or provide a distraction, such as listening to music, going for a walk in nature, or engaging in a creative outlet, can also help redirect your thoughts and provide a temporary respite from anxiety.
Remember, you're not defined by your mistakes or the mess you feel you're in. We all make mistakes, and it's through these experiences that we learn and grow. It's important to be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion during this challenging time. You deserve understanding, forgiveness, and support.
If you ever feel like you're in crisis or need immediate support, please don't hesitate to reach out to a helpline or crisis team in your area. They are trained to provide assistance and can offer guidance during difficult moments.
You're not alone in this, and there are people who care about your well-being. We’re here to listen and support you in any way I can. Take things one step at a time, and remember that healing and growth are possible, even in the midst of anxiety.