Society has decided that I am a loser.
Everything seems to hinge on my disability. Why am I not liked by others? Why can't I get out more? Why am I working the job I am? It all seems to point back to my learning disability and what it does to me. Causes emotions that cascades into depression. Last night I was at work, and picked up a sharpie marker and wrote on my arm. "Loser".
@tryingtosurvive2024 You are not a loser, my friend. You truly are not.
@tryingtosurvive2024 That label is meaningless. If a person is a loser the question is, loser at what? Who sets the criteria of what is to be judged? Your depression is worsened by your buying into this label. There are people who like to use this label to diminish others. They are just bullies. They may have talents and abilities others don’t have but if they say they are somehow better humans points to their insecurity and a kind of poverty of the soul. But it is very easy for us to pick up on these messages and internalize them. The bully’s voice becomes our own. When we recognize this is happening it’s our job to stop it. If you bullied someone else, would Jesus cheer you on? No! So don’t bully yourself by calling yourself a loser.
@PineTreeTree Thank you for your comment and I like you too! 😊
Please allow me to explain in more detail what is going on inside of me, and why.
From a very young age I have had trouble feeling good about myself. That was a problem even before I got bullied like crazy. Now days my issue is how people around me, ignore me. In the past my issue was with people who I tried to get close too. At first they seemed friendly which is why I tried. But not too long after getting a little closer to them they pulled away. After many years of putting up with this, I started to blame myself for it. That is why I wrote this post, and said that society decided I'm a loser. These people don't call me that to my face, but by their actions, or sometimes even lack of friendliness, makes it easy for me to emotionally fall into self pity. It is really hard for me to self talk myself out of that feeling when I'm all alone. Which is 8 hours every night at work. And plus many hours at home too. When the feeling gets unbearable, I feel like I need to write about it to get attention.
I feel that my contribution to the world of internet writing is, I'm completely honest. I'm not like those people who try to make everyone think that things are going good when they are not. I suppose my hope is that the truth shall set me and maybe my readers free? Honestly I am surprised that I got readers like you. 😊 I am thankful for you and the other people on 7cups that take the time read my stuff. 😊
@tryingtosurvive2024
This is the second time I have seen someone comment on your intelligent writing. Would you ever consider writing a book about your ADHD and how it has affected you in your relationships? Maybe it could also include an advocacy angle to facilitate a better understanding of our condition and help to encourage acceptance. It could be just the perspective and voice that the ADHD community needs right now. You have experience and a story to tell so why not make use of that? It can be cathartic for you as well and help you to overcome some of these negative beliefs you have about yourself.
@aCalmOasis I feel that in a book I would need to offer advice on how to deal with ADHD. I don't know how to deal with it. But there is already a GOOD book written about it. It is called "Driven to distraction" By Edward Hallowell and John Ratey.
@tryingtosurvive2024 That struggle with human relationships is very painful and the reason for your post makes perfect sense. I think it’s hard to make and maintain friendships in today’s world. I see lots of posts here on 7 Cups from people who are lonely and have no friends. That said, our challenge cannot be to fix society. That is too big a task for us individually. I’ve come to believe that making friends is a skill. If it’s a skill then it’s something we can develop and that means we can have hope. Real hope, not whistling in the dark, everything is going to be ok false hope.
@PineTreeTree Just to keep our conversation about this going. I feel that I must add that it depends on the people you can be around. In my own life, the only people I am around, I can't be friends with them. I cant even imagine what kind of change would need to make. i think my whole body would need to be changed. My occupation would be need to be changed. It's hard to describe.
@tryingtosurvive2024 Of course. Choose people you want to be around.
No one is a loser (well except for bullies, but you’re not a bully, are you?) ADHD is a real struggle, but it doesn’t have to be who you are. You are who you say you are ❤️
@tratandodesobrevivir2024
tengo una condición muy distinta a lo tuyo.
no importa donde esté nadie quiere estar conmigo , estoy ya tan cansado de sentir como siento .el miércoles me subí al segundo piso del centro comercial y desde ese lugar mire tantas vidas que podrían haber tenido. Pero no paso .
Desde Lima te digo que también me siento un perdedor