RSD and Coping with Defeat
Hi all, I recently lost an important tournament that I've been training really hard for and it's been really difficult to bounce back. I'm trying to frame is an experience and use it to grow but it's really hard. Does anyone have any advice on how to have a better outlook on this anything helps thank you :)
I feel like I improved a lot today so I'm wanted to write down some things that are helping:
1. Accept it: I lost, it sucks and a setback but no one is defined by their losses but how they bounce back from them and I'm no different.
2. Prioritize Yourself: I was more worried about that other people think than how I was feeling. I felt like I let everyone down but I didn't, I worked hard to get there and they supported me because they care about me and wanted to support me the result doesn't change that.
3. Grow from this: I lost I know why I lost how do I use this to improve as a person. People saw me lose and now they're going to see me pick myself up and come back better than ever.
4. Write your feelings down: Don't let your feelings bottle up, find a healthy way to express yourself. I found that just writing down what I'm feeling helped a ton.
5. Reach Out to someone: You're already here that's a great step, you're not alone and people experience these same emotions. You're valid, don't feel like you're overreacting it's okay to be upset and it's okay to ask for help.
@SGold8556
It’s amazing that you are already making lemonade out of those lemons. 😉We all know that failures are a part of life. But I think how we learn to frame them in our minds makes all the difference. The actions we take thereafter help define if they become setbacks or opportunities for our growth. It looks to me like you have chosen to grow from this experience so good for you.
I think it is important to remember that failure isn't a set identity its an event that happens to us. Having compassion for yourself in the aftermath is key. Personally, I see setbacks as opportunities for learning, growth and introspection. A mentor once told me that “misfortune is often disguised as fortune”, and that has been true in many cases.
The questions that come to mind when faced with a setback is, what is this experience trying to teach me? and what is the opportunity here? This helps your mind focus on what you can control vs what you cant. The ways in which you respond to these failures will show you how strong you are and the areas where you may need some additional work.
I find this questioning process helpful in refining myself and helping me to build resiliency. Try asking yourself who must I become to have what I want? This question forms clarity around who you aspire to be and that allows you to build a specific identify that is more likely to succeed and get up when faced with adversity. It builds grit and perseverance over time. Learning how to effectively cope and grow through your mistakes takes you from victimhood to victor. So here’s to your next victory!
