Is ADHD an excuse?
I am in a relationship with a lady. We both have ADHD. She was diagnosed more recently than me. We are both in our early 50s. She says that I use ADHD as an excuse for not adopting and changing habits quickly. She says that I’m not open to change. I say that I am open but slow to change. I believe I’ve adapted ways and routines over my lifetime that give me the stability and structure that I need to keep me from being overwhelmed and anxious. She says I’m just using it as an excuse.
This bothers me as this implies that the excuse as a negative connotation and I certainly believe that I’m not a negative person in general.
Yes, I’ve had a discussion with her about it and she says she sees where I’m coming from but she still brings it up from time to time.
Any thoughts? Am I off basis?
@1in8billion
I don’t think any habits are changed quickly generally speaking, but having ADHD in addition adds another layer of complexity to the situation. I personally believe it is helpful to give ourselves more grace than average when making changes to the ways we operate. We require a specific plan of attack because our brains are wired for novelty and are interest led.
Adopting new habits take time and effort, they are initially novel to us, but if we aren’t truly interested in adopting them, they don’t tend to stick. So I feel you have to do what works for you right now, and that is a personal journey. From what you have shared, it sounds like you have developed your own set of strategies that currently work well for you, so hopefully your partner can understand and be accepting of this.
