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Borderline Personality Disorder

ChannaBanana September 14th, 2023
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I posted yesterday in the ADHD Support area asking about my wife of 12 years who has ADHD. A kind and knowledgeable person replied to my post and suggested that in addition to ADHD my wife may have Borderline (BPD)Personality Disorder, based on her behaviours / traits. Who out there can share their knowledge and experiences with BPD ? Thank you in advance

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purpleFig7203 September 17th, 2023
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Borderline personality disorder is a cluster b personality disorder. It's in the same cluster as narcissistic PD. It shares some traits there is often over lap. Additionally there are often both PDs represented in a family system.


Borderline personality folks if I understand correctly often have issues related to abandonment and or attachment. They are very attention seeking and can have narcissistic tendencies.


There tends to be emotional liability with BPD folks. Ther emotional state can change in a second. They often have very black and white, on or off, all or nothing thinking. They often play push pull. This is because in part they cannot tolerate any shame or self acknowledgement of being wrong.


Then tend to get triggered by real or interpreted events, actions or statements. This often accompanies a sudden mood change or sudden change in how they rate someone. c A person can rapidly change from having a positive status with the BPD person to being looked down on.


People with BPD often relate to the world with a "feelings are facts" approach. Instead of looking at the details and facts of what they encounter in life, they filter everything through their current emotions. These feelings are facts to them.

Because they can change emotional states so rapidly, they act like nothing happens Ed whole the other party is still licking wounds and recovering emotionally from difficult interactions with the BPD person


purpleFig7203 September 17th, 2023
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I got called away before editing and finishing. Sorry about mistyped above.


I wanted to add that you don't habe to have a formal diagnosis to decide that you don't want to live with abuse.

There is a website called outofthefog.net that has descriptions of personality disorders, and tools you can apply to daily life to help. The 100 traits list is a good tool for identifying and naming the negative things you might be living with. I found it useful to make which ones I did, and which one my spouse did and whether it was occasionally or habitual.


Owning my stuff was my first step so I could know I had done all I could to turn the ship around. I found words/terms for things I knew were not quite right but could not easily out into words.


I hope you find the clarity you need and that you find things getting better.