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ChannaBanana
1,719 M Hopeful Heart
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts79 Forum posts23 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2024 Member sinceDecember 21, 2021
Recent forum posts
Marriage Challenges
Relationship Stress / by ChannaBanana
Last post
 October 15th, 2023
...See more My wife and I have been married for 12 years and we have 2 sons that are 8 and 6. We have had a nice life thus far. My wife and I are fortunate to have good jobs and both have our Masters Degrees. About 7 years ago, after a fight, my wife said she wanted a divorce. We talked through things and repaired our marriage and life moved on. However since then, she has use the Divorce Threat once or twice a year--usually to kill/stop a fight or disagreement we have. Yet, we keep carrying on with our lives, buying a new house recently, going on family vacations etc. Most recently she has said to me that she wants us to live separately and she actually seems to mean it this time. I just don't know what to do or think--I'm scared, anxious, etc. On one hand, this Push-Pull aspect she brings to our relationship just isn't sustainable long term, it's exhausting. On the other hand, I love her and I believe she still loves me (she said it three days ago). Plus we have two little kids, and a new house we just moved into a year ago...I need your thoughts please.
Borderline Personality Disorder
ADHD Support / by ChannaBanana
Last post
 September 17th, 2023
...See more I posted yesterday in the ADHD Support area asking about my wife of 12 years who has ADHD. A kind and knowledgeable person replied to my post and suggested that in addition to ADHD my wife may have Borderline (BPD)Personality Disorder, based on her behaviours / traits. Who out there can share their knowledge and experiences with BPD ? Thank you in advance
ADHD and Marriage
ADHD Support / by ChannaBanana
Last post
 September 22nd, 2023
...See more I'll preface this thread by saying my wife is very well educated, smart and very successful at her career, however our marriage/relationship has been very rocky at times. I am a pretty chill person, educated, smart, driven, lively but not up for drama--I also have controllable anxiety which I take meds for. We also have two kids who are 6 and 8 years old. My wife of 12 years has ADHD. Her ADHD causes challenges in our relationship and I need advice/help/thoughts navigating them. The reoccurring issues surrounding our marriage/relationship and my wifes ADHD are: - She says literally whatever is on her mind in the moment, which is good and bad. If what she says comes across as degrading to me I usually can shake it off, but sometimes I cannot and respond back verbally saying I didn't appreciate something she said, etc--which can create issues. Also, because she says whatever is on her mind/her opinion she can come across as a "know it all" or even aggressive to people outside of our marriage. - She has gotten to the point where I cannot verbally share with her my feelings with her regarding if I feel slighted by something she said or did to me. If I do share, she often gets upset, won't hear me out, doesn't say sorry or even threatens for us to get a divorce, live in separate homes, etc. - The day after making verbal threats like we should get a divorce, live in separate homes, etc--she doesn't address the threats, it's like she never said it. She has made these divorce/separate home threats about 3-4 times a year for the last 5 years--yet in that 5 years we have continued to buy/sell homes, go on family vacations, celebrate anniversaries etc. I usually don't bring up her threats again because in the past when I do, she gets upset our doubles down on the threats again. There are the biggest ADHD challenges we have currently and I need advice/help/thoughts please. Thank You
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