I really dont know what to do or where to go to seek help for myself. Its like a rollercoaster being in a relationship with an addict. A lot happened, and my boyfriend got forced into a crisis detox and finally chose to go to a rehab. And I want to be so hopeful and happy. But then I remember things he did, that I know hes done as a result of being an addict, but I have a hard time getting past them. I have his phone and I discovered some chats recently where he sort of blamed me for some of his problems when Ive been nothing but supportive for the last 2 years so it hurt. He also threw my insecurity of my weight under the bus. I want to remain in that hopeful state of mind but its so difficult. I dont want to give up, but how am I supposed to heal? And how am I supposed to be able to trust him again. How much of him and what he said was just an addict talking, and when do you know when theyre done lying and manipulating? Sometimes Im very good at keeping those questions I know I most likely will never get answers to in the back of my mind, but sometimes I just get so overwhelmed.
