Vent :

When getting high wasn't helping me escape anymore, when getting better was my only option. Then i realised how my life was mostly about keeping it secret, about doing things that lead to big consequences, that i only wanted to be with those people because they could get me the drug, how ashamed i felt in my family even if they did or didnt know about it.

Its weird the drug kinda lost all the magic and now that i'm sober ive realised how much work i have (my self-esteem, good routines, socialising) sober is the only way now because... i cant... i guess its more about my dignity. I cant complain about being depressed if I'm not listening to therapists and phychiatrists on how my addiction is hurting me.